Time Traveler in the Dark

Transcription Record
Traveler #1,853,293: Bob ‘Forgettable&GenericLastName’
Time Travel Agents: Agent Valenia, Agent Rios
9:31AM Un-crumbled Part of the World Standard Time (UPWST)

Bob: “Um, can I take off the blindfold now? I’m getting a little uncomfortable. Is this polyester?

Agent.Valenia: “Nylon.”

Bob: “Please! You’ve tortured me enough with this grade of fabric! What do you want? Money?”

Agent.Rios: “Why do you all ask that?”

Agent.Valenia: “Take it off, Rios.”

Agent.Rios: “I don’t want to touch the itchy nylon.”

Agent.Valenia: “It was the only historic cloth in Archaeological-Salvageables-Mart.”

Agent.Rios: “You were overcharged, weren’t you?”

Agent.Valenia: “It’s a priceless relic!”

Bob: “The blindfold’s making my eyes sting guys.”

Agent.Rios: “Actually, it’s the air.”

Agent.Valenia: “Not to overwhelm you, Bob.”

Bob: “Not overwhelming at all that you’re KIDNAPPING ME!”

Agent.Rios: “You’re not Mr Innocent yourself!”

Bob: “Please, I’m allergic to nylon!”

Agent.Rios: “Liar.”

Agent.Valenia: “We examined your medical records prior.”

Bob: “Where am I? Is there a restroom here? Preferably sanitized.”

Agent.Rios: “Ha! Not by your antiquated high standards buddy.”

Agent.Valenia: “Welcome, officially, to the future.”

Bob: “I’m… the first-”

Agent.Rios: “Not the first time traveler.”

Bob: “Why am I here? I did nothing wrong. Promise.”

Agent.Valenia: “Really?”

Bob: “Fine, I’m a fraud! I pretend I’m a student to get a discounted gym membership… and yoga classes… and coffee…”

Agent.Rios: “What?”

Bob: “What? I mean, haha, joking!”

Agent.Valenia: “This is about your two hour showers and aversion to recycling.”

Bob: “Oh, phew.”

Agent.Rios: “Bob, you’re the reason for all this!”

Agent.Valenia: “Take the blindfold off, Rios.”

(Bob’s blindfold’s removed, he looks outside the window.)

Bob: “Yikes… You know, time travel’s catastrophic according to, like, every Hollywood post-apocalyptic rom-com.”

Agent.Valenia: “Yes, we studied that source material for school.”

Agent.Rios: “Time travel exams… Your fault too.“

Agent.Valenia: “You could’ve helped prevent this, and your exposure to nylon cloth this morning!”

Bob: “It’s morning? Dang it’s glum.”

Agent.Valenia: “Little things add up, Bob.”

Bob: “But, I’m slammed. Gym, yoga, coffee meetings… Ok, ok. We’ll see.”

Agent.Valenia: “Hmm.”

Bob: “Dark… Can I put my blindfold back on now?