“Come to me, that’s it, a little further,” Sherry called out.
“Why are you indulging her?” Phil questions everything. “She might get bit.”
“She’ll be fine, quit worrying. It’s great for balance.”
“She could do this inside, it’s easier.”
“Ten more minutes.” Sherry is trying to ignore his negative energy. “Phil, just go inside. Let us finish here, please.”
He couldn’t walk any faster.
“Good girl Penny, keep going!” Walking like a drunk sailor, Penny has reached her Mother’s legs. Squealing in delight, Sherry picks her up. In between kisses, Sherry pauses. “This will help you in more ways than one, sweet girl.”
Grounding on the earth has helped with sleep and inflammation. Sherry hopes to teach her daughter, allowing her the choice to a natural approach. “Good habits start early, young lady!”
Phil has rejoined them. “Let’s go to Durbin State Park. The beach there is never busy with folks.”
Sherry agrees. “The beach will do us good.”
When they arrive, there is something amiss. Plastic bottles, beer cans strewn everywhere. Littered with chip bags, plastic bags and food containers. Pristine no more.
“What the heck happened here?” Phil is pacing around noticing there is nowhere to sit. “Looks like there was a party. Why would anyone leave it like this?” His anger is apparent.
Sherry packed up snacks, drinks and a kitchen trash bag for this outing. As she and Penny bend down, their hands take turns grabbing trash. It’s become a game. She turns to Phil, pointing proudly at their daughter. Her grin says it all!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHello Deborah – One of the nice things about our Writing Events is that we allow writers to edit and update their submissions, even after they are published. We published “Balancing Act” because it is a good start for a very promising story. You may want to revisit this story with these things in mind: Although you’ve used the word “earth”, this story really isn’t related to climate change or celebrating the… Read more »
Thank you very much Voice.Club, for this constructive criticism! I will take all your guidance to heart. I absolutely see your point! I will reconstruct this story. I need to be cognizant of this! Thank you for accepting my story-telling on this platform. I’m enjoying it!
Voice.team, I resubmitted this story night before last, with more content. If it does not suffice, please feel free to delete it. Thank you again for your input.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleAs promised, we have replaced your original story with your new, improved version! It is so exciting to see your dedication to learning and growing as a writer. That’s what our Writing SubClub is all about. What a great new story!
Thank you, thank you and 🙏! You made my day!
I am trying so hard to improve!
Enjoy the weekend!
Your “Good habits start early” is evident in the child learning to clean the beach! Good lesson!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you for your comment, Margarida. I wanted to convey my protagonists more natural approach to life.
Hello, Deborah. I enjoy reading this great story from yours. I love how Phil and Sherry teach their little Penny to be more responsible in cleaning the surroundings. How lovely it is. Well done.
This little family I’ve created has morphed into “learn by example” scenarios. This is new for me. I’m used to writing a sinister type of story. I appreciate your generous comments.
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