“What a beautiful day it is. Let’s get you girls into the SUV, and don’t forget to buckle up,” directed their mother’s high pitched voice. “Off we go to the plant store!”
Her husband was actually going to let his attentive wife Daisy decide on some of the plants today. Overjoyed with excitement, she couldn’t contain her nonstop chatter. The radio got louder.
“Dad turn that down,” their daughters whined from the back seat.
The plant store was nearby, which made the drive almost tolerable with the family.
As in military fashion, Daisy’s husband commanded the four of them to remain single file throughout the nursery. This wasn’t much fun not being to move around and explore, but rules had to be followed for everyone’s safety.
“Ahh this has been great fun.” Daisy’s enthusiasm was met with grumbles. “Look how we’ve loaded up this big cart with so many plants! I just can’t wait to get them into our front flowerbed for all the neighbors to see!”
Her husband decided to bring their SUV closer to load up. Their daughters went with him.
Daisy was pulling the heavy cart towards their vehicle. Her husband got out to help, and reacted quickly as the cart with a long handle got away from her. In freakish timing he stopped the cart before it hit their vehicle. Screams blared out! She looked at his hand after he let go. She noticed his middle finger had shifted left, maybe dislocated? She whispered to herself, “I hope he doesn’t notice,” as she stared in disbelief.
The ride to the local hospital was agony for him. Once they arrived to the ER, her husband struggled with the car door. A moment later, his left hand slammed the passenger door.
As Daisy checked her rear view mirror, her nervous grin was looking back at her. Without hesitation, she drove away.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleAha, Deborah, the Horrible Husband has gotten at least a little comeuppance (how I do love that word)! You haven’t killed him off yet, but there’s still time ? I also wrote several stories about the same character in this event. You might read my author’s note on “The Secret Sorrow of Candles” and write something similar for your great stories. You can just write a comment on your own story and… Read more »
Thank you Fuji, I’ve just started catching up on the other writers stories. To me, it’s a fun topic to poke at. I will be sure to read yours and Carrie’s stories on this subject. I’ve made sure to comment after each story I’ve read thus far. For me,” Reflections” has been reflected slightly different in each of my stories. I love family dynamics, as the scenario can go wherever the mind… Read more »
After re-reading your comment Fuji, I have now realized what you meant by the “same character “. On another note, my 2 stories actually showcase different dysfunctional families. I confused the reader as to thinking it’s a sequel. Another faux pas of mine. I have more stories in the works on this subject.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI think that if I were your protagonist I would drive away and just keep going. There is just one line towards the end that I found a little contradictory: ‘A moment later, his left hand slammed the passenger door shut with his side’. Because it’s a Gems event I’m sure Voice-Team will allow you to re-submit the story with any changes you might want to make 🙂
Carrie’s right – for Gems events, we can help out. It’s too late to resubmit, but if you want to change that line just tell us how to phrase it and we will change it. It’s so nice when writers help out as editors – thank you, Carrie!
Thank you Voice-Team. I will be more careful before I submit from now on. I’m so new to this, I have so much to brush up on. I would like to end that sentence with door. I would like to delete/remove shut with his side.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI apologize for this mistake Carrie. I didn’t mean to use both exit strategies of the husband. I meant to end that sentence with door. I should have deleted ‘shut with his side. I have a lot to learn in my writing skills.
No need to apologise, Deborah. We all make mistakes sometimes. I released a book in 2021 thinking I’d gotten rid of all the typos. Last year I released an extended edition of the same book. I couldn’t believe how many typos I found in the book previously released ? We’re not infallible!
Hi Deborah – You said: “I have a lot to learn in my writing skills” No worries… I also have a lot to learn to improve my writing skills 🙂 Thanks to the feedback process in this club, my writing has improved over time, and I keep motivated via the ongoing new contest and event prompts. Also, the community here is one of the most supportive on the internet, which is why,… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much for your kind words!
Hello, Deborah. Do not worry about making mistakes. I have many things to do to improve my writing skills too. And I am learning it every day while I am in the club. And still, I am learning today. I am forever thankful and grateful for all the supportive club members here at voice club.
Thank you, Lotchie. This is such a fun writing platform. I respect each and everyone’s comments and questions.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou’re always welcome, Deborah. You are on the right platform. Voice Club is a family-friendly one. Everyone values and respects each other. That’s why I love staying here. I feel at home when I am here.
What? The chatterbox of a wife hoped her husband would not notice that he dislocated his finger! She also had the nerve to drive away and grin after she dropped him off at the hospital!
Thank you Margarida for your comment. I appreciate your input!
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