Noah : We can’t use her as bait.

Sally : We have no choice.

Noah :  ( shakily, rubs his face) We can’t use her as bait. We can’t.

Sally settles her 3 month old baby down in the crib and turns to Noah.

Sally : We have no choice.  Just as we planned.

The darkness surrounds them, its eyes hollow and hands reaching for the crib.

Sally : Noah! Now!

But Noah was gone.

4.8 20 votes
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Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
1 year ago

It takes a real talent to tell a story in so few words. What was the baby the bait for? If you don’t mind me suggesting, I think you could have gotten a little more from this Halloween story. I wanted to read on. I enjoyed reading this story. Thank you.

Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
Reply to  Nimra Savanghan
1 year ago

I can’t believe this is only 60 words! I was impressed, dear writer, with your writing styles before, but now I am so jealous of your talent!

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Romesh Savanghan
Romesh Savanghan(@romesh-savanghan)
1 year ago

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Devinie Lye-Ukwattage
Devinie Lye-Ukwattage(@devinie-lye-ukwattage)
1 year ago

Love it!

Olivia Evans
Olivia Evans(@olivia-evans)
1 year ago

Hi Nimra! The shortest engaging story! Write MORE!

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Olivia Evans
Olivia Evans(@olivia-evans)
Reply to  Olivia Evans
1 year ago

I shared with Jess and the team

Last edited 1 year ago by Olivia Evans
Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
Reply to  Olivia Evans
1 year ago

I keep coming back here for some reason. LOL.

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Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
1 year ago

Thanks for sharing this Nimra. I enjoyed it!

Sabeeha Samsoodeen
Sabeeha Samsoodeen(@sabeeha-samsoodeen)
1 year ago

Write more please! Most engaging short story I’ve read in a while

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Goddess Ofabundance
Goddess Ofabundance(@goddess-ofabundance)
1 year ago

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Gimhani lakshika
Gimhani lakshika(@gimhani-lakshika)
1 year ago

Love it

Kevin Saunders
Kevin Saunders(@kevin-saunders)
1 year ago

Hey! Jess shared your stuff. All the best!

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Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
Reply to  Kevin Saunders
1 year ago

hey lol

Last edited 1 year ago by Jessica Lewis
Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

Well done getting to first place. I would love to see this extended into a longer story

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Pragya Rathore
Pragya Rathore(@pragya-rathore)
1 year ago

Hey Nimra! Congratulations on the win, it was definitely well-earned. This story felt like a retelling of Annabelle, and it was compelling. Great job!

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Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
1 year ago

Well done Nimra, for a Great Story. You must be Very Proud at this Moment -Eric.

Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
1 year ago

They say the more words you use, the better the story will turn out. This piece of art is the perfect example that proves this theory wrong. Well-done!

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Susan Dawson
Susan Dawson(@susan-dawson)
1 year ago

Minimal and intriguing. I wonder what is reaching for the crib.

Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
1 year ago

This story captured me right away. I hope you take it further someday! Impressive.

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

A very short story but captivating.

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