Noah : We can’t use her as bait.

Sally : We have no choice.

Noah :  ( shakily, rubs his face) We can’t use her as bait. We can’t.

Sally settles her 3 month old baby down in the crib and turns to Noah.

Sally : We have no choice.  Just as we planned.

The darkness surrounds them, its eyes hollow and hands reaching for the crib.

Sally : Noah! Now!

But Noah was gone.

4.8 20 votes
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34 Comments
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Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
2 years ago

It takes a real talent to tell a story in so few words. What was the baby the bait for? If you don’t mind me suggesting, I think you could have gotten a little more from this Halloween story. I wanted to read on. I enjoyed reading this story. Thank… Read more »

Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
Reply to  Nimra Savanghan
2 years ago

I can’t believe this is only 60 words! I was impressed, dear writer, with your writing styles before, but now I am so jealous of your talent!

Romesh Savanghan
Romesh Savanghan(@romesh-savanghan)
2 years ago

Devinie Lye-Ukwattage
Devinie Lye-Ukwattage(@devinie-lye-ukwattage)
2 years ago

Love it!

Olivia Evans
Olivia Evans(@olivia-evans)
2 years ago

Hi Nimra! The shortest engaging story! Write MORE!

Olivia Evans
Olivia Evans(@olivia-evans)
Reply to  Olivia Evans
2 years ago

I shared with Jess and the team

Last edited 2 years ago by Olivia Evans
Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
Reply to  Olivia Evans
2 years ago

I keep coming back here for some reason. LOL.

Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
2 years ago

Thanks for sharing this Nimra. I enjoyed it!

Sabeeha Samsoodeen
Sabeeha Samsoodeen(@sabeeha-samsoodeen)
2 years ago

Write more please! Most engaging short story I’ve read in a while

Goddess Ofabundance
Goddess Ofabundance(@goddess-ofabundance)
2 years ago

Gimhani lakshika
Gimhani lakshika(@gimhani-lakshika)
2 years ago

Love it

Kevin Saunders
Kevin Saunders(@kevin-saunders)
2 years ago

Hey! Jess shared your stuff. All the best!

Jessica Lewis
Jessica Lewis(@jessica-lewis)
Reply to  Kevin Saunders
2 years ago

hey lol

Last edited 2 years ago by Jessica Lewis
Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
2 years ago

Well done getting to first place. I would love to see this extended into a longer story

Pragya Rathore
Pragya Rathore(@pragya-rathore)
2 years ago

Hey Nimra! Congratulations on the win, it was definitely well-earned. This story felt like a retelling of Annabelle, and it was compelling. Great job!

Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
2 years ago

Well done Nimra, for a Great Story. You must be Very Proud at this Moment -Eric.

Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
2 years ago

They say the more words you use, the better the story will turn out. This piece of art is the perfect example that proves this theory wrong. Well-done!

Susan Dawson
Susan Dawson(@susan-dawson)
2 years ago

Minimal and intriguing. I wonder what is reaching for the crib.

Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
2 years ago

This story captured me right away. I hope you take it further someday! Impressive.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

A very short story but captivating.

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