Yoga class is so much nicer without Cathy. Her slender body could form any pose, and her coppery hair remained unruffled, shining. Our instructor Matt adoringly called her “Golden Serpent”. 

Not only was Golden Serpent beautiful and supple, but she was articulate and well-read.  “Why do we do things that aren’t good for us?”  Matt’s question inspired her to heights of poetry and philosophy.  I remained silent. 

But after class, when I followed Cathy home, I answered with action, whispering one word: “Jealousy”. My deeper answers will be for the police, who are just now knocking on the studio door.

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    2 years ago

    Well done descriptions of Golden Serpent. Good twist at the end. Enjoyable read!

    Susan Dawson
    Susan Dawson(@susan-dawson)
    2 years ago

    I don’t usually like serpents at all but I think your narrator is the one with forked tongue. Well done on the first 100 word contest.

    Eric Radcliffe
    Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
    2 years ago

    To be perfectly honest with you Fuji I found this exercise with 100 words really challenging, changing words by the minute. If I had been using an eraser then I think it would have had to be at least a yard long! I enjoyed reading your story, an air of mystery and jealousy. I’m sure I’ll be back to read it again and again, it had me thinking.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    2 years ago

    Hi, Fuji. It made me read and read again, not just twice but thrice. It is very appealing to me your words: Golden Serpent and Jealousy. Nice job for 100 words contest.

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    2 years ago

    Your story sent shivers through me Fuji! How skillfully you set the story up. From the first sentence we sense something isn’t quite right and it stays with us until the reveal. Jealousy is such a strong emotion and although nobody would condone the action your narrator took, they could perhaps understand it. A story that stays with you. I really enjoyed it.

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    Reply to  Fuji
    2 years ago

    I’m even more impressed now. I think if I’d thought of writing a story based around that question it would probably have involved overeating or binging on box sets! Nothing nearly as creative as your story Fuji.

    Carrie OLeary
    Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
    2 years ago

    Darkly delicious Fuji. I like how Cathy is painted in a negative way, then you have the nice little twist at the end. Nicely done.

    Christer Norrlof
    Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
    2 years ago

    I love your first (published) 100 word story, Fuji. Not only that the few words are well chosen, but also that it is a story that keeps opening up slowly until the truth is revealed. The use of past tense when Cathy is described is a nice little hint.

    Santina Forlenza
    Santina Forlenza(@santina-forlenza)
    2 years ago

    Deep meaning story, Fuji. I am impressed by the ability to tell it in 100 words.

    Katerina Bizirtsaki
    Katerina Bizirtsaki(@katerina-bizirtsaki)
    2 years ago

    We sense from the beginning that something isn’t right but I didn’t see this coming! You’ve kept us at the edge of our seats, Fuji, while we were trying to figure out where the story was going.

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