Which dress?  The burgundy, too severe. The ruffled pink, too frivolous. The swirling silk, the color of sunset –  just right.

Shoes? Red stilettos, too tight.  Sky-blue slippers, too loose. Open-toed cross-strapped sandals – just right.

My hair?  Piled up and pinned, too serious.  Flowing free, too casual. A jewel-studded ponytail? Definitely just right.

I slip into the dress and shoes, pull back my hair, and take a deep breath. His knock is self-assured, his voice warm and steady. “Hi Goldie! Ready?” I nod nervously.  I hope I make a better impression on him than I did on those grouchy old bears!

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Voice-Team
Voice-Team(@voice-team)
Admin
1 year ago

A witty twist on a well-known tale. Some habits are hard to break! Very enjoyable read.

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

That’s fun to read Fuji. Love the cute little twist at the end ?

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Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
1 year ago

Hi Fuji, what stood out to me was the way you described the knock on the door. It is just a by the way simple comment, but it tells us so much of the person behind the door in just a few words, and it’s taken me how many to point this out – ha, ha. A lovely write.

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
1 year ago

I agree with Eric, Fuji. The self-assured knock, warm and steady voice tells us so much about who’s behind that door. Personally, I pictured Cary Grant, what a lucky Goldie! Brilliant twist at the end. Loved it!

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Susan Dawson
Susan Dawson(@susan-dawson)
1 year ago

Having taken in the content on quick reading, then been bowled over by the ending, I was then able to go back and enjoy the porridge. Wonderfully structured.

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

This is fun quick reading. Eric was right, your description of the man knocking on the door is so captivating. 

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 year ago

As with your other stories, the reader has to be very alert. There is always a raisin (at least) hidden in the porridge. I love the waltzy three-structure, kept from the fairy tale. Well written, Fuji!

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Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
1 year ago

Filled with many descriptions and twists on a familiar tale! A great combination, if you ask me. You did a really good job on this piece, Fuji!

Sandra James
Sandra James(@sandra-james)
1 year ago

I love it, Fuji! I’m glad she recovered from her traumatic visit to the bears and I hope the date is as sweet as honey 🙂 Great story, wonderful twist ending.

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