Going Dancing
Which dress? The burgundy, too severe. The ruffled pink, too frivolous. The swirling silk, the color of sunset – just right.
Shoes? Red stilettos, too tight. Sky-blue slippers, too loose. Open-toed cross-strapped sandals – just right.
My hair? Piled up and pinned, too serious. Flowing free, too casual. A jewel-studded ponytail? Definitely just right.
I slip into the dress and shoes, pull back my hair, and take a deep breath. His knock is self-assured, his voice warm and steady. “Hi Goldie! Ready?” I nod nervously. I hope I make a better impression on him than I did on those grouchy old bears!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleA witty twist on a well-known tale. Some habits are hard to break! Very enjoyable read.
That’s fun to read Fuji. Love the cute little twist at the end ?
Thanks so much, Carrie! With a prompt of “Gold”, how could I resist?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Fuji, what stood out to me was the way you described the knock on the door. It is just a by the way simple comment, but it tells us so much of the person behind the door in just a few words, and it’s taken me how many to point this out – ha, ha. A lovely write.
That is funny, Eric. On these 100 word stories the comments can easily be longer than the stories! Glad you enjoyed it.
I agree with Eric, Fuji. The self-assured knock, warm and steady voice tells us so much about who’s behind that door. Personally, I pictured Cary Grant, what a lucky Goldie! Brilliant twist at the end. Loved it!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHaving taken in the content on quick reading, then been bowled over by the ending, I was then able to go back and enjoy the porridge. Wonderfully structured.
Glad you thought the story was “just right”. I wonder if everyone got the underlying clues? You don’t want to give away too much, but also don’t want readers to miss the reference. It’s fun, regardless, I think.
Thanks so much to Linda Rock and Eric Radcliffe for appreciating the bit of detail about the man who knocks on Goldie’s door. At first I just had something like “when the knock comes, I take a last look in the mirror, then open the door”. But then I wondered about the man. What was he like? How will he treat Goldie? And then, how can I describe him in just a… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis is fun quick reading. Eric was right, your description of the man knocking on the door is so captivating.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Lotchie.
As with your other stories, the reader has to be very alert. There is always a raisin (at least) hidden in the porridge. I love the waltzy three-structure, kept from the fairy tale. Well written, Fuji!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleChrister, your comments are always such enjoyable reading, in addition to being supportive and helpful. l love the “raisin” reference, and the “waltzy three-structure”. This one was a lot of fun to write! Thanks as always for reading and commenting!
Filled with many descriptions and twists on a familiar tale! A great combination, if you ask me. You did a really good job on this piece, Fuji!
I love it, Fuji! I’m glad she recovered from her traumatic visit to the bears and I hope the date is as sweet as honey 🙂 Great story, wonderful twist ending.
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