Apprenticed to the Alchemist
My candle held aloft, I stepped cautiously down the stone stairway, shivering, chilled to the bone. My fingers trailed the damp walls until I reached a dungeon-like door, adorned with an ouroboros crest, symbol of the alchemists; I was in the right place. Turning the handle, I pushed, heart pounding.
The light glowed a misty, murky yellowish green. Pungent, sulphurous vapours rose from a cauldron where liquid effervesced with a burbling, bubbling boil.
I caught a glint of gold through the steam, and there he was, my new master, pushing up his spectacles as they slipped down his sharp nose.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleArresting, visual story with chilling detail. Excellent writing.
Thank you so much.
Love it! Reminds me of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I can just see Mickey Mouse in that tall blue hat covered with stars. Maybe there’s a new recurrung character here!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleGreat story. Unlike Fuji below I didn’t have to remember the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I spent fifty years as an alchemist, well nowadays they call us chemists but there’s not really much difference, at least for the traditional ones who toiled in labs. Anyway, I can remember being both the apprentice and the master.
Cheers.
And now you turn base metal into gold with your pen, Alan.
I wish.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI think we all do. There’s a little bit of extraordinary in all of us I think 🙂
Alan Kemister 
Susan Dawson
Thanks Alan. I’ve always been fascinated by Alchemy. Chemistry was my favourite science subject at school, I think because we could actively do the experiments and see the results. That was a long time ago, before all these health and safety regulators went mad and stopped the use of chemicals in schools. Not such a fun subject when all you can do is read about the experiments!
The beginning sets the tone, the air of suspense. I liked this one Carrie.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Eric, this story actually started life as a poem that I wrote a couple of years ago. I used to find it easier to write 100 word challenges in poetry form. You need less filler words in poetry. So I thought I’d try it out as a story. I had to miss out a line or two, but hopefully it still works.
Loved all the description and tension throughout this story Carrie. That final paragraph certainly left me wanting more.
Thanks Linda, maybe it will have to go on the ‘to be extended’ pile!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love this story. It’s brief and concise. Well done.
Thanks Thompson for taking the time to comment. Glad you enjoyed it.
I love the poetic language in this story, all the colorful adjectives and the alliterations. And, of course, the mysterious and intriguing atmosphere you bring us into. Well done, Carrie!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Christer. This story actually started out life as a poem. I rather like the character and setting though, so I may extend this story some time in the future. I’m glad you enjoyed it anyway 🙂
The trepidation the young apprentice feels as he/she is about to meet the new master, I felt all there. However, what I liked the most was the human, mundane touch about the magus wearing glasses, absolutely inspired!!
Thank you for commenting Greene, I’m so glad you enjoyed the story.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Carrie, I enjoy the atmosphere in your story. And the touch of gold through the steam is just amazing.
Thanks Santina. I’d love to really see one of those old alchemy laboratories.
Hello Carrie, we’ve all come to expect great things from you, and this story is right up there with your best! It’s so poetic, so descriptive, so atmospheric. Like someone else said, I love the human touch of the spectacles slipping down his nose. Congratulations!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you for your kind words Juma. I have fun writing my stories, so it’s always a bonus when people enjoy them.
Congratulation Carrie, another brilliant write taking us back to the time of the Alchemist. Well done.
Thanks Eric. I’m not sure I deserved first place on this one. Your story was so heartfelt and beautifully written that I kind of hoped you’d get it this time ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThat is such a loving and heartfelt thing to say Carrie. Just the thought that other writers have read and enjoyed your story, and also taken the time to say so, is reward enough in itself. Thank You.
Another brilliant story from you Carrie. Congratulations. Well-written.
Thank you Lotchie; I keep trying ?
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