New Contest - OPEN!
|
|
The Barista
He was gorgeous. My local coffee shop had never been so busy; every table taken with love-struck girls… all thinking the same. Not that the new barista appeared to notice.
Reluctantly, I returned my attention to my laptop. My ‘mafia-themed’ novel wouldn’t write itself. An hour, two latte’s, three paragraphs and countless ‘starry-eyed’ glances at the coffee counter later… I gave up. My concentration was defeated by distraction.
“I’m on my break.”
I gazed up into the softest brown eyes, flecked with gold. Every head spun in my direction.
“May I join you?”
It was an offer I couldn’t refuse…
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Support our Family-Friendly Mission
Your donations keep Voice.club alive!Our vision of a new Internet is family-friendly, elegant and educated.
If Voice.club has enhanced your life, if you've enjoyed the stories, the comments and the wonderful community, we ask you to help keep our vision thriving!
Help support our family-friendly mission
Buy our Kindle Book
What fun, Linda! Where did you say the coffee shop was again? I might want to drop in!! By the way, I love how your last line ties in with the novel you’re writing. Great job, and a great read.
I don’t think I did say, did I Fuji? After all, I did see him first! It was only after I’d written the last line that I thought of linking it to the novel, happens sometimes! Thanks for your lovely comment, glad you enjoyed it.
Oh, I do like this Linda. You’ve really done the story justice in such few words. Excellent job.
Thanks Carrie. It was fun writing this one.
Well Linda, I like the contrast – from the underworld of gangsters, to flirting and? I also sense the mischief in your story. A lovely warm and feel good write. .
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
My love of ‘The Godfather’ trilogy certainly influenced this story Eric but, as you sensed, told ‘tongue in cheek’. Glad you liked it and thanks for your kind comment.
Honestly, you make my lips smile with a little spark in my eyes. Flirting. I love how you have done this story in just a few words. Good job.
Thank you Lotchie, you are very kind. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
You’re most welcome. Hope to read more from you. It brings joy to my heart.
Just what every coffee shop needs. If only I were forty years younger. Great story Linda.
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Me too Genya! Thanks for commenting, it means a lot.
“An hour, two latte’s, three paragraphs and countless ‘starry-eyed’ glances at the coffee counter later. . .” I love the numerical progression here, Linda. Your words allowed me to picture the image clearly, but also to feel the desperation of your character.
Oh wow, Danielle! I’ve read this story a half dozen times and never even caught that wonderful “1, 2, 3” progression. I guess I was too star-struck by the barista himself! This is what I love about everyone’s comments – they give an even wider perspective into the story and often point out hidden treasures.
Well spotted Danielle! Thanks for your comment, much appreciated.
A beautifully pictured situation, Linda. Your story contains so much of human longing, hoping, envy, attempts to be strong – plus the elements of surprise, love, joy and surrender. And then we don’t have to be strong anymore, just follow the new path that opened up. I guess there wouldn’t be more than those three paragraphs written that day?
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
I’m guessing not Christer! ‘I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship’ to quote Rick from ‘Casablanca’. Another movie quote, you can tell I’m a movie buff! Thanks so much for your comment, which is really lovely.
You just made me watch the last 5 minutes of Casablanca on YouTube. I imagined that the line was one between Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, so I needed a reminder of what the famous last scene of the movie looks like. Don’t hesitate to come up with more movie quotes if they fit into your stories, Linda!
A fatal encounter, a coup de foudre in 100 words!! Loved it, Linda, loved it!
I love your comment Greene ‘a fatal encounter’, it gives me food for thought on how this story might progress! Thanks so much, really appreciate it.
Its was just an ordinary day for both of these two, but because of the barista’s courage to walk up to her and speak it might evolve into something truly beautiful. This could be the start of a great novel!
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
So true Katy, thanks for your kind comment.
You are very welcome, Linda!