Contest - Scary - Halloween Fun!
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Run Little Rabbit
He moved across to the window, gently pulling the curtains aside, watching the house across the street. Yesterday she came outside with her head bowed, trying to hide a black eye.
He could see the gap in the Venetian blind as she looked for the school bus. A children’s goldenbook in the window was their code – your father is still home! Go to Nana’s. “Run Little Rabbit” screamed its warning.
The blinds were jerked violently. Bashing her again, probably. He’s going to kill her one day. Someone should do something. He shook his head and closed his curtains.
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A truly heartbreaking story, using every word to its best advantage. Quite a writing achievement, and hopefully one that brings more awareness and compassion and even a renewed willingness to act. Thank you for this story, Mary.
Thank you for choosing my story from so many memorable entries. I hope it encourages people to speak up.
Mary, this is one of the most well-written and memorable 100 words stories I’ve read. Your carefully chosen words hold so much depth. Not one, but three tragedies here – the wife/mother, the child running to Nana’s, and the neighbor closing his curtains. I think it was the last paragraph that finally brought me to tears. “Someone” should do something … Congratulations, Mary, on a superb piece of writing.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Apathy is one of humankind’s biggest sins.
I agree with everything Fuji has said Mary. I have to think that the neighbour, although sympathetic, doesn’t act because he just doesn’t want to get involved. Sadly this is a fact of life. A thought provoking, well written story.
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Thank you Linda. It is so much easier not to get involved.
What a heart rending story, Mary, and beautifully executed in so few words.
Thank you Carrie.
What a heart rendering story Mary. Isn’t it amazing what can be achieved in 100 words. It doesn’t seem right to say that I enjoyed your story, so I will just say that I agree with everything that Fuji said. Well written Mary – 10 out of 10.
Thank you so much Eric.
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I hope you understood what I meant by – it didn’t seem right? That was only because of the content, and not the story.
I understand completely Eric. It was a story to make you think, to prod your conscience, not a story to enjoy.
I agree with the other readers’ comments. It is a very intense, upsetting and sad story. The essence of a tragedy is caught in a just a few words. Very well done!
Thank you Christer, I am grateful for your feedback.
The execution using 100 words was amazing. I love it. On another side, I feel so sad knowing the fact that the neighbor didn’t do anything for whatever reason of closing the curtains, I don’t know but it brought tears to my eyes.
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I know this is a family friendly site, and my story is about family violence, but I believe if you can write stories to make readers think- you should. I’m glad the story moved you. Thank you for your comments.
You’re welcome. Hope to read more from you.
Hi Mary, I agree about writing stories that will make your reader think. They may not always be palatable but should always be told. As I said before, your story was very thought provoking.
Thanks Linda.
Congratulations, Mary, for winning the Grand Prize! This story certainly deserves an award. It is expertly written, saying so much with so few words. Bringing awareness to difficult topics while maintaining a high quality of writing is part of being family-friendly, I should think. Evidently the Voice Team thinks so, since they picked your story above all the others!
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Thanks Juma for your kind words.
Hi Mary, I m really impressed by your ability to create such an intense story in only 100 words. Congratulations!
Thank you Santina for reading and commenting.
Mary, this story is fabulous with its chilling ending. Someone should do something, but so often, no one does. You have captured this idea perfectly.
Thanks Danielle, too often we leave these things to someone else or anyone else.
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Congratulations on your win, Mary. Your little story gained everybody’s heart, as it brilliantly caught the essence of a tragedy from a different angle.
Thanks Christer.
Hello, Mary. You made it to the grand prize. Congratulations. I am so happy for you.
Thanks Lotchie.
Congratulations, Mary, for winning the grand prize. What a heartbreaking story you’ve written! Thank you for gifting us with your talent to bring tears to our eyes in just a few words!
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Thank you Katy for your kind words.
You’re very welcome!