Fools Gold
He watched her walk down the aisle and wondered why brides didn’t dress in gold, why she wasn’t clad in the color that reflected how truly precious she was. He pictured the years passing–family barbeques, vacations, births, holidays. She’d shimmer, glitter, enamor him at each. Their lifelong connection would be fully established today, in only a few moments. He felt his heart squeeze when she glanced up and flashed him a smile.
He prayed he’d eventually be able to see her as fool’s gold. He knew no other way to survive her marriage to his brother.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleSurprise ending, well written. A very enjoyable read.
Thank you! I am honored by this recognition.
Wow! You got me hooked. When he said he hoped he’d see her as fool’s gold, I was taken aback. What a thing for a new husband to say! Then I read the last line. An excellent story, and a nice addition to the pile of gold we have in this contest.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Fuji! I’m so glad I found this site where I can comfortably share my writing.
You’ll love it here! Everyone is so supportive, and the stories are so well-written. I learn a lot each time I browse the site. A big welcome to you.
Just like Fuji, I was totally hooked Danielle. I love stories that can surprise me and yours did this brilliantly. Really well written. Loved it!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Linda! I’ve always admired writers who could surprise the reader at the end, and I’ve been working on developing that skill.
Great story. Loved the twist at the end. You really had me fooled that this was the new husband’s POV, right up to the end.
Thank you, Carrie! This means a lot to me as I’ve been working on getting better at developing twists.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWonderful twist at the end, just the way a 100 word story should end.
Alan, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
It is incredible, Danielle, how you can fit in so much in only 100 words. This story has it all, including the mystery of the double-edged relationship and the surprise moment at the end. Very well done!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleChrister, thank you! I love 100 word stories.
I had to chuckle at the end, was it mischief, or jealousy – either way it fits. I liked the way you wrote this Danielle.
Thanks so much, Eric! I think it was jealousy, but mischief is definitely another option. I might flesh out the story a little more eventually to see if the bride is also aware of her brother-in-law’s feelings.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Danielle, beautiful story about love with a surprising end. I like when the disappointed lover tries to encourage himself by seeing her as ‘fool’s gold’. Brilliant. And congratulations.
Santina, thank you for your supportive comments. I am so happy to be part of this writing community!
I fully agree, Danielle. I m quite new in this community, and day after day I m more and more fascinated by its members and all their stories. So many different styles, feelings, sense of humor, poetry. See you around Danielle. And thanks again for your ‘Fool’ s gold. ‘
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWow, Danielle, you totally mastered the 100-word story on your first try! Congratulations on being selected as a runner up. This is no small achievement, considering your story was competing against some pretty amazing stories written by the brightest and best on the site!! Welcome to the Winners Circle.
Thank you for your generous comments, Juma! I can’t tell you how much this boosts my confidence in my writing.
This is a great story. In the last line, you shatter our ideals and we share in his pain. A very well executed piece. Congratulations.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Mary! I loved your story.
And congratulations!
Simple, powerful, and congratulations.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Susan, for your kind comment! Congrats to you as well!
Congratulations Danielle, the reward comes from knowing that your story had so many reads and was enjoyed by everyone here. Well done – looking forward to congratulating you again.
Eric, thank you! I’m sorry my response is so late. I teach high school, and the last couple of weeks have been hectic. I appreciate your kind words!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWhat a very surprising ending. Congratulations on your win, Danielle. Hope to read more stories from you here.
Lotchie, thank you for your comment. I really enjoyed writing this one, and I am so glad to have found this site.
Same as me, I am very glad that I sign up for Voice club.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWhat an ending! I certainly didn’t expect such turn of events. You did an excellent job, Danielle, especially if one considers the limit of words.