The sun slowly melted away into the clouds, expelling gold rays of light into the sea. It twinkled bright, coloring the rippling waves with grandeur and profound beauty. The shimmers joyfully skipped from wave to wave, infecting the waters with a golden gleam. It was a sight to behold. Ships of wood and steel floating on liquid gold into the horizon. It was almost like magic. It felt like the first time in many years that the people had seen hope and optimism.

Then the planes came and the water turned red once again.

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2 years ago

Such a switch from the warmth in the first paragraph to harsh reality in the second. Powerful writing.

2 years ago

This is an unforgettable story, Prachi. Your first paragraph had me completely enthralled, especially with the picture that accompanies the story. Then … A masterful piece of writing, and one I will always remember. Congratulations on your first submission!

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
2 years ago

Lovely descriptions throughout, Prachi. Your words painting a tranquil picture. Then came the last line and left me with a feeling of profound sadness. Well done, great first story.

Susan Dawson
Susan Dawson(@susan-dawson)
2 years ago

For those of us who have been used to writing 350 word pieces,I think it has become noticeable that in these micro stories the last line is the key one. Yours is astounding.

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
2 years ago

Beautiful visual description. Great work.

Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
2 years ago

Hello Prachi, and a big welcome. I am always amazed by the strength of words, the beauty that they carry and also the sadness. I felt your words dancing along, full of optimism – then the sadness. Wonderfully expressed Prachi.

Last edited 2 years ago by Eric Radcliffe
2 years ago

Congratulations on your well-deserved win, Prachi. Your story, like Run Rabbit Run by Avatar Mary Wallace, brings us face-to-face with one of life’s harsh realities. The first paragraph is full of such poetic beauty that the second paragraph is even more devastating. This is great writing.

Santina Forlenza
Santina Forlenza(@santina-forlenza)
2 years ago

Hi Parchi, I like your poetry. The idea of waters getting infected by golden gleam is superb. I find the story very visual, making me see your writing. Thank you. And congratulations.

Mary Wallace
Mary Wallace(@mary-wallace)
2 years ago

Thank you for a beautiful story that stops us in our tracks and makes us think. Superb writing. Congratulations.

Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
2 years ago

Hello Prachi, what a powerful story, a bridge expressed in words from a sane and peaceful world – to the insane. Congratulations.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
2 years ago

Congratulations on your win, Prachi.

Katy Bizi
Katy Bizi(@katy-bizi)
2 years ago

Congratulations, Prachi! We all hope to see more of your stories.

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