Who’s There
Knock-knock.
“Come in, darling,” she sings out happily.
Knock-knock.
“Come on in – you have your key!”
Knock-knock.
“I said come in! You’re starting to push me over the edge.”
Knock-knock.
“Come in, for the love of God!” She screams. “What kind of game are you playing?”
Knock-knock-knock.
“Don’t do this to me!” She can feel veins popping in her forehead as she laboriously wheels herself across the room. She reaches for the door knob, leaning, falling…
“Massive heart attack,” the doctor says. “I’m so sorry.”
The husband tries to look grief-stricken. “It worked,” he exults silently, “Free at last!”
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWell, that’s one way to do it. I worry about authors sometimes; are we all a bunch of closet serial killers? We certainly plot to kill our protagonists within our written words. It’s one of those stories where you wish the plot had backfired. Good job.
Wow, Carrie. I have to say that your comment did make me think back to all the different stories that I have written and count how many protagonists I had to kill off. It’s scary really! And I’m sure I’m not the only one who came to the conclusion that I am a fictional killer!
On the other hand, even though it’s sad to realize how many stories of ours revolve around death, I do believe it’s necessary sometimes. Such a vital theme can truly get across our lesson or the emotion we want to convey. Still, after your comment, I think I’ll have to think twice when it comes to killing off another protagonist in a story to come.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleOr maybe not think twice, Katy! After all, Agatha Christie did all right with her stories. She and Shakespeare are tied as the best-selling authors of all time!! So instead of refraining from the tidy little homicides, I think I’ll just have one of the characters quote the Bard as they go about their dastardly business. Success!!!
Well, if you think about that, then yes, you’re right. A lot of best-selling stories contain murder, but if you start thinking about your protagonists as your children, then it is a bit harder to kill them off!
Oh no, I was always on the side of the husband. She really was a demanding, whining, no-redeeming-qualities kind of woman. With a heart condition. In a wheelchair. Yikes, maybe I am a bit lacking in compassion. However, I stand by the murder stories. See my response to Katy above. ☠ ☠
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love how it’s up to the reader to think of how the husband was involved in her death and I think that’s why stories this short are so interactive. There are multiple answers one can think of for the questions left unanswered and that’s the beauty of it!
Thanks for your comment, Katy. You are so right about micro fiction having an element of interactive involvement with the reader. It’s like poetry – nothing stated exactly, but so much suggested. I personally love this genre!
A gripping 100 words Fuji with a delicious slice of evil at the end! Readers will view your story in different ways which is why it makes it irresistibly interesting.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks so much Linda. I value your feedback!
Oo! Fuji, this is going to give a lot of sleepless nights to your neighbours. You have the gift of the cunningly unexpected. One to watch out for?? (I mean the story, not you.)
The neighbors are safe at the moment, but who knows what might come next? To quote the Bard, By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, Whoever knocks! Oooo that sounds like a good story, doesn’t it? ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleIs that Witch or Which?
Hello Fuji,
I find the story absolutely exciting.
Thanks so much, Dipayan!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleFuji, I could only wonder what brought this reaction of the husband along until I read your comment below about his wife’s personality. She must have really been dreadful if she pushed him to that point!
You could tell she was a bit “high strung”, as they say, just from her reaction to the knocking. He knew it didn’t take much to push her buttons, so she must have been a hysterical mess for quite a while! Of course, we will never know. Maybe the husband is the nut case. Anyway, it’s all in good fun, just words on a page!!
Well, the ending surprised me with her husband’s involvement in her death. Well written.
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