Beneath the bough of a cherry tree a child is conceived and, within a year lies buried beneath the same tree. She weeps at the grave – heartbroken – while cherry blossoms rain down as tears on the scene. He struggles – she turns away – he pleads – she says she will let him know when she is ready to live again.
Life continues. Time flows around all, even those who are reluctant to accept this fact, who struggle to hold on to the past.
Far away he rests beside a flowing river wending from orchard to sea. In his hand, a letter. He opens it – the envelope releases cherry blossoms falling as tears to the ground.
It is time to go home.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleA very short, poetic story. Lovely rendering of cherry blossoms as love and loss and renewal.
Hello Susan, the first thing that comes to my mind is, why write 350 words, when you can say it in less, a thought for all who read this story. It’s true, and for some, sadness will be part of their lives, but, there will be healing, if given time. Your story so beautifully written reminds us so.
I had both a longer version and this shorter one written, and finally decided that the shorter had the greater impact. Thank you for reading my story and commenting on it.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleBrevity can be so beautiful. This series of phrases “He struggles – she turns away – he pleads” says so much more than long sentences could. Excellent writing.
Thank you for reading and complimenting my story. I enjoyed writing it, so am always happy when readers enjoy it, too.
Susan this is so beautiful. So much said in so few words and overflowing with emotion. Today I have learnt something which I know will enhance my writing, thank you for the lesson. If I could give more than 1 like, I would.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you for your kind words. We all learn from one another. I am just glad to be a link in this chain.
Beautiful and sad. Sometimes less is more. 🙂
Thank you for your comments and for sharing your feelings on my story. I am glad it touched you.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWow, Susan. I love the imagery with the cherry blossoms/tears, particularly this line: “He opens it – the envelope releases cherry blossoms falling as tears to the ground.”
To the point and extremely powerful with both the literal and figurative meaning of “release”.
I’m glad you realized the literal and figurative meaning of the title. I have always thought cherry blossoms falling down are like God’s tears.
The explicitness and detail of the mind-pictures have charmed me along with the brevity of space and expression.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you for your kind words. I am so glad you enjoyed this story.
You’re welcome.
So much sadness in this Susan, but in the end there is so much hope. I too loved the second to last line. Good stuff.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Carrie, for your encouragement! I’m glad you liked the story.
I agree with the previous comments – so much in so few words and it works so well. A beautiful story and very well written 🙂
Thank you, Sandra, for reading and enjoying my story. Positive comments are always uplifting.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love it, Susan. A very short story but so much in it. You nailed it, Susan. Congratulations.