First Blood
I ride across the meadow as the sun crests the horizon, rising into the morning sky, tinting the early morning mist with a soft rosy glow. It is a beautiful morning, only the birdsong, the pounding beats of Abraxas’ hooves and the huffs of his breath break the silence as we canter towards the gentle slope of sakura woodland to the south.
That peace will soon be broken though. I’m riding this way with purpose; to take down the Mongol deserter. Just drawing first blood will be enough with this one. He’s already proven his inefficiency and that he is unworthy of his place in the Mongol army. But then, they stand little chance against the Samurai, it’s hardly surprising that he’s chosen to run. Why is it always the beautiful places that are tainted by battle? Already I can imagine the blood staining those petals that float like snowflakes in the gentle breeze.
The sky has already lost the rose-pink tinge. The clouds and mist burn away in the warming sunshine as it rises. I can imagine living here, a peaceful retreat amongst the cherry trees, to be showered every spring in a delicate snowfall of pink blossom.
My concentration snaps into place. There he is, hiding amongst the dense shrubbery. I’d known I’d find him there; coward. I slither down from the saddle, draw my katana, and head towards him with confident strides.
My katana clashes with his great sword, both of us on the offence. Sweat beads my brow as I dance lightly around him, trying to slip under his guard. His muscles ripple with each stroke, the strength in his sword arm should be lethal. I slip aside, easily.
Sparks fly as our blades caress. We disengage and he pounces, more quickly than his bulk suggests, sword in an overhead strike.
“Not today!” I scream. Dodging sideways, I hook my foot around his ankle. Off-balance, he stumbles. My blade nicks his throat.
“Boo-yah!” I shout into my headset, “Girls rule!”
Mike groans. “Jess, you’re intolerable when you win.”
“Another round?” I ask, gripping the controller.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCarrie, I did not expect that ending at all! You had me glued to the screen from the first line! This is a fabulous story and I absolutely love the twist at the end. You have a way with describing scenes so well. It is like one could smell the petals, feel the heat and hear the weapons clashing. Well done!
Thanks Marianna. I had fun with this one. I’ve only read a couple of the other stories so far, but I love that we all manage to come up with something so completely different.
I totally agree, there are so many great stories to read. I really enjoy the different writing styles too.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThe ending was totally unexpected. I never saw this coming. The descriptions were so vivid and visual. A great story.
Thanks Genya, I was aiming to make the audience believe it was real, just like being completely absorbed in a game’s storyline, or I guess even a book’s storyline can feel to an avid gamer / reader. And, then, back to reality.
This is great! I love how vividly you describe the setting – absolutely loved the twist as well! Completely unexpected and made me smile.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you Zena. I’m glad you liked it and enjoyed my little twist at the end. ?
Yeees, the ‘girls rule’ twist made me jump and smile, Carrie.
So glad you enjoyed it Santina. I hoped the twist would go down well ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWell, Carrie, you had me pulled in and fooled until the very end! Very well written, I laughed at the turn of events. Thanks for the story.
I’m so pleased that people have enjoyed the twist at the end. Another of my hobbies is playing PS4 games, though I don’t generally like multiplayer, so it was fun inventing a game for my protagonists to be playing at the beginning of the story, then revealing it wasn’t real at the end 🙂
Yep, you fooled us all Carrie! The back story, the battle, every word was enthralling and worthy of applause. The twist at the end was the cherry on the cake. Brilliant!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much Linda. I didn’t think my stories would get shortlisted this time, that I was pushing the boundaries on the prompt a bit. So I’m glad that people have enjoyed it 🙂
As a very large fan of anime as well as a girl with multiple male cousins, I was thrilled.
Thank you Lydia, so glad you enjoyed it. PS4 gaming is a hobby I share with both of my (grown-up) children. I always like to prove that I’m just as good as them, so I have great respect for my protagonist ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYour description of nature and anticipation in the first part are very well made, Carrie, as well as your way of putting suspense into action and fight. The end turns everything around in a hilarious, totally surprising way. Very good work!
Thank you so much for your comment Christer, I’m so pleased that everyone has enjoyed the end of my story
Ha, ha Carrie, you are always full of surprises, a very vivid and entertaining write, well done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks for commenting Eric, I’m afraid my imagination goes off at the strangest tangent and my poor characters just have to follow ?
A wonderful twist ending, Carrie! But also a thoughtful glimpse at a very real piece of history. I love the line ‘Why is it always the beautiful places that are tainted by battle?’. Very well done 🙂
Thank you so much Sandra. I felt the need to preserve something of history in my make believe video game. I have learned so much more history from playing games myself than I ever learned at school and it felt to be an important part of the story; I guess a shout out to all the historical research done by the game creators out there.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleNice twist, Carrie. I never expected it. Well done!
Thank you Lotchie. Glad you liked it.
You’re welcome, Carrie.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Carrie, congratulations!
Thank you Santina ?. Wasn’t expecting that.
Congratulations Carrie! I loved this one. ? ? ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCheers Linda, I really enjoyed writing this one ?
Congratulations, Carrie! This story had me hooked from the exciting beginning to the unexpected and fun ending!
Thank you Fuji. I had so much fun writing this one. It was nice that we had a prompt that gave me the chance to tell the story 🙂
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations Carrie.
Thanks Eric.
Congratulations to you, Carrie.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Dipayan
Congratulations, Carrie! This was such a fun story with a great ending.
Thank you, Marianna. Glad you enjoyed it. ?
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