I helplessly stared at the front door, tears blurring my mascara, the welts on my face rising angrier with every passing minute. Mom and Dad had warned me Jack was trash. They’d brought up his shoddy neighborhood morning, noon, and night.

And now …

I couldn’t open that door.

I couldn’t face their disdain. I couldn’t deal with their “I told you so”s. The endless months of smug comments.

I wrapped my arms against the frigid wind.

I stumbled out into the dark night.

I never saw the van.

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Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
2 years ago

First a big welcome to the Voice club. Your story ended with a sudden sad punch that took me quite by surprise, a powerful 100 words Lisa, nicely written.

Last edited 2 years ago by Eric Radcliffe
Lisa Gledhill
Lisa Gledhill(@lisa-gledhill)
2 years ago

Well written! My heart is sinking though – we have all been in her footsteps, unable to face someone we love.

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
2 years ago

Hi Lisa, nice to see a new face. What an excellent first contribution. Your story is so full of emotion. It’s difficult for us to admit to being wrong; to have made such a life changing choice and find that we should have taken the advice from other people, especially those we love and respect, is a bitter pill to swallow. It makes it difficult to take advice when it’s delivered in… Read more »

Marianna Pieterse
Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
2 years ago

Lisa, this is such a sad situation. I am sure many people will relate to this. You have described the emotion so well in only a few words.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
2 years ago

A warm welcome to the Voice Club, Lisa.

You described well the emotions of your protagonist, Lisa. This is a very hard situation, I was once rebellious to my parents and didn’t listen to their pieces of advice and ended up with a failure life. Good thing they gave me another chance to make the best version of myself.

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
2 years ago

Welcome to Voice.club, Lisa! Your picture of the girl’s situation is portrayed in an emotional and realistic way. What a dilemma she finds herself in! Of course, parents are often right and mean well, but who wants to face them after having been certain of the opposite feelings? The accident comes as a surprise, but at the same time it makes sense to the story.

Daisy Blacklock
Daisy Blacklock(@daisy-blacklock)
2 years ago

This story is brilliant. I love the short sentences towards the end, they give a really great effect with so few words.

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