I helplessly stared at the front door, tears blurring my mascara, the welts on my face rising angrier with every passing minute. Mom and Dad had warned me Jack was trash. They’d brought up his shoddy neighborhood morning, noon, and night.

And now …

I couldn’t open that door.

I couldn’t face their disdain. I couldn’t deal with their “I told you so”s. The endless months of smug comments.

I wrapped my arms against the frigid wind.

I stumbled out into the dark night.

I never saw the van.

0 0 votes
Post Rating
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
7 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Eric Radcliffe
Eric Radcliffe(@eric-radcliffe)
1 year ago

First a big welcome to the Voice club. Your story ended with a sudden sad punch that took me quite by surprise, a powerful 100 words Lisa, nicely written.

Last edited 1 year ago by Eric Radcliffe
Lisa Gledhill
Lisa Gledhill(@lisa-gledhill)
1 year ago

Well written! My heart is sinking though – we have all been in her footsteps, unable to face someone we love.

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

Hi Lisa, nice to see a new face. What an excellent first contribution. Your story is so full of emotion. It’s difficult for us to admit to being wrong; to have made such a life changing choice and find that we should have taken the advice from other people, especially those we love and respect, is a bitter pill to swallow. It makes it difficult to take advice when it’s delivered in a deprecating way though, and tends to make people feel rebellious. Such an unexpected and distressing twist at the end.

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Marianna Pieterse
Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
1 year ago

Lisa, this is such a sad situation. I am sure many people will relate to this. You have described the emotion so well in only a few words.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

A warm welcome to the Voice Club, Lisa.

You described well the emotions of your protagonist, Lisa. This is a very hard situation, I was once rebellious to my parents and didn’t listen to their pieces of advice and ended up with a failure life. Good thing they gave me another chance to make the best version of myself.

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 year ago

Welcome to Voice.club, Lisa! Your picture of the girl’s situation is portrayed in an emotional and realistic way. What a dilemma she finds herself in! Of course, parents are often right and mean well, but who wants to face them after having been certain of the opposite feelings? The accident comes as a surprise, but at the same time it makes sense to the story.

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Daisy Blacklock
Daisy Blacklock(@daisy-blacklock)
1 year ago

This story is brilliant. I love the short sentences towards the end, they give a really great effect with so few words.

Become a PatronHelp support our family-friendly mission

Recent Comments

7
0
Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
()
x
Scroll to Top

Sharing a Post

Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!