Lord What Fools These Mortals Be
He’s a cut above other London beggars. He created his own outlandish rules. No photos. No conversation. Small change frowned upon. Approach with respect. Bow gracefully. Offer your gift.
For donations of one hundred quid or more, you’ll get a folded scrap of paper containing a hand-written line from Shakespeare. Nobody quite understands the charm, the mystique, the raw magnetism of the man. Perhaps it’s just that he’s disarmingly different. Whatever the reason, everyone flocks to him.
At dusk, he sheds his disguise and returns to the manor.
“Successful day, m’lord?”
“Excellent, Briggs. Brandy in the library?”
“Very good, sir.”
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Clever and riveting, with an unexpected ending. The Shakespeare angle was especially nice. We were drawn in by the title.

Thank you Voice-Team. I’m glad you liked the title – I reworked it several times!
Well someone has to pay for the upkeep of the family pile, don’t you know. Ha ha, I’d take a brandy with him any day just to toast his ingenuity. I love the character you’ve created Fuji, different indeed!
You are so right, Linda. Someone does have to pay for minding the manor! Why not a beggar? I had a lot of fun writing this one.
I love it, Fuji.
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Thank you, Lotchie.
You’re welcome, Fuji.
What a great story, Fuji! Like Linda, I’d love to share a brandy with m’lord and hear some of his stories!
He is quite a character, Julie. Thanks for reading!
Ha, ha ?, I love the end Fuji. Did you already have the ending in mind Fuji, or did it come to you as you wrote it? It’s nice to understand the story teller, as I think you are quite unique.
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Hi Eric, I had the ending all planned, but had to work to get the words just right so as not to give it away too soon. I enjoyed the research for this story as well. See my comments to Carrie below.
Great story Fuji, and not as outlandish as it might appear. I’ve heard stories before of people begging in shop doorways, with the addition of an unkempt looking dog. At the end of the day, when all the people have gone home, the beggar packs up his stuff, walks round the corner, packs it all in his Range Rover and drives home for a nice hot dinner with his wife.
Ah yes, Carrie. I did a bunch of research while writing this story. I found that the average beggar in one town in England (not London) is 52,000 pounds per year. In that same town, evidently, the median income is around 28,000 pounds. I also read about the richest beggar in the world who owns two luxurious apartments in Mumbai, India, each worth about 8 million USD. Great material for a story!!
Fuji, this was well-told. So many people are being tricked this way. Your protagonist sounds like quite a character, why else would everyone flock to him? I enjoyed reading this.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Marianna. It was a fun write!
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An intriguing and very well written story, Fuji. I love your use of words, including the Shakespeare quote, and wonder if you had that line from A Midsummer Night’s Dream in mind when you started or if you pulled it out of your sleeve as the story manifested.
As for beggars living in mansions and being very rich, I wonder if such stories aren’t urban myths. In this part of the world (Colombia), inequality is a huge problem, with about 25% of the population living under the poverty line and about 8% in extreme poverty (also many refugees from Venezuela). I see poor people every day and cannot imagine that any single of them goes back home to a life of luxury after a day’s begging. Maybe there are a few exceptions in rich countries, but I think it’s a (popular?) myth that the average beggar makes more money than working people.
Hello Christer. I knew I was going to write about a beggar who quoted Shakespeare, and the original quote I wanted to use was the wonderfully alliterative “giddy fortune’s furious fickle wheel”, from King Henry VIII. When the story was finished, however, that didn’t seem the best title, so I used one of my favorites from Midsummer Night’s Dream, which fit our beggar and his followers perfectly. Thanks, Puck!
I hope I didn’t seem to belittle the plight of real beggars. We have many in our town too, homeless people who live on the streets and beg for food. But even among those there is one who stands outside of Starbucks and demands his caramel creme latte every day. He gets money from passersby, and then berates the barista and makes him/her throw it out and make it again if the caramel isn’t added in just the right way. So many in dire need, and some taking advantage. Lord, what fools these mortals be.
Disarmingly different really hits the mark.
Great read.
Thank you so much, Jason! I look forward to hearing more from you and about you!!
Congratulations, Fuji! A well earned win with your always so beautiful language and wonderful composed content.
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Thank you as always Christer, for your beautifully written comments!
Congratulations, Fuji! A great story, and a well-deserved win.
Thank you Julie, and congratulations on your win!
Proper ghosts need the proper adjectives. I really love the way you conduct the reader right into the core of this unique touching surprise: right there where a long gone genius returns to pave his way back to the soul of words.
What an interesting comment, Eduardo. I’d love to hear more about your interpretation of this story. You have a unique way of looking at things.
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Indeed, I stopped my normal fast manner of reading to the pure and crystal amazement of your way of ending this fantastic short piece. I wasn’t expecting that. You made my eyes !!!
Congratulations, Fuji.
Thank you Lotchie!
You’re welcome, Fuji. I am happy about your achievement.
I can’t tell you how much I loved your story Fuji. A character that I’d really enjoy to see explored further. Huge congratulations on your win, so very well deserved.
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Thank you Linda. We might drop in on m’lord from time to time to see what he’s up to …
Congratulations Fuji. This was a very clever story. Well done.
Thank you Carrie and congratulations on your two finalist stories.
Fuji, this was a great story. Congratulations on your win!
Thank you Marianna. I’m in good company with you other winners!
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Very clever twist, Fuji.
Thank you, Susan. It was fun to write.
As per usual, a sense of purpose in your every word. Impressive!
Well done, Fuji! I love the twist at the end. An intriguing character and I can’t help but like him in some way!
A couple of years ago here in Australia I read news reports of quite wealthy people from overseas coming to Melbourne, dressing in rags, (some pretending to be disabled) and begging. Apparently they made a lot of money preying on people’s sympathy and kindness 🙁