Wings of Hope

I wake, my dream so real I can almost grasp it. Hold it. Live it. Make it come true.

In my dream I had wings. In my dream I flew back in time and lifted Jason from the debris that was his car. I pulled him free and…

But it fades into the night and unable to return to sleep I switch on my laptop and spend the next hour playing Mah-jongg, trying to forget.

We’d argued. A silly disagreement and Jason stormed off before I could tell him I was carrying his baby.

Just before my neighbour’s rooster began his pre-dawn reveille, I fell into another fitful dream-filled sleep. Once again I had wings but this time I found myself on the edge of a pond. In its depths a small boy, trying to reach the surface. I grasped his outstretched arms and together we flew towards…

The rooster woke me then. Who was the boy? There was something familiar.

I showered, dressed and tried to camouflage the bags beneath my eyes. Jamie would arrive soon.

I wandered into the garden, checked the mail box and pulled a few weeds from around the daffodils nodding their heads toward the sun. A kind policewoman had brought me a wilted bunch of daffodils found on the seat of Jason’s car. Daffodils, flowers of forgiveness. He’d been coming back to apologise for our silly argument. I planted more and more each year.

Jamie arrived carrying a huge bunch of daffodils. ‘I don’t think you need any more,’ he said, kissing my cheek. But he knew how special they were.

‘I’ll put them in water,’ I told him.

‘No. Wait. I want to tell you something first.’ Jamie took a deep breath, then grinned. ‘Kim’s pregnant!’

I almost dropped the daffodils. Jamie and Kim had experienced so many disappointments. We held each other tight, rejoicing through happy tears.

Finally, I wiped my eyes, looked down at my flowers and watched a beautiful butterfly rise from one of the golden trumpets.

Jason used to call me his little butterfly. He knew. He knew.