
Eyes to the Soul
He’d fooled everyone with his angelic face and innocent expression. Who would suspect that such a perfect child could be anything but… perfect? In his parent’s eyes, he could do no wrong. But theirs weren’t the only eyes watching him.
A series of unspeakable acts would define his youth. Acts for which he received neither blame nor punishment. Standing before the ornate mirror in his family’s hallway he would smirk, reveling in his deception. And with each smirk, a tiny crack would form on the glass.
His father’s tragic fall from a clifftop, whilst they hiked together, had assured him a place at university. The proceeds from an Accidental Death policy covered his fees and spared him from what he perceived to be a demeaning job within the family’s fast-food restaurant. Meanwhile another crack would be etched.
Sarah was beautiful and utterly irresistible. But it was the plain and dull Katherine who held the key to his aspirations and a future within her prominent and influential family. It would be Katherine on his arm the night of the graduation ball while Sarah sat at home, anxiously awaiting his arrival, until all hope was gone and only tears remained. And with them… another crack.
It was during his gap year that he planned his mother’s demise. His inheritance would provide the financial security he desperately craved and secure the acceptance of Katherine’s family and circle of friends. Admiring himself in the mirror whilst basking in his ingenuity, another ugly smirk crossed his lips.
The sound was almost indiscernible at first before reaching a crescendo as crack after crack elongated, frenziedly gouging its wrath deep into the glass. Each crack a testimony to his every despicable act. Defiling every inch, until the glass could withstand no more.
His distraught mother, when questioned by the police, had no explanation for how a shard of glass had punctured the jugular vein in her son’s neck.
While in the hallway, the lifeless body of a young man reflected in an ornate mirror… a mirror with eyes to the soul, unsullied and completely devoid of cracks.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleOh, I do like that Linda, very tense and well written. Your story gripped me, right to the very last word.
Thanks so much Carrie. I took my inspiration for this story from Paulo Coelho’s quote ‘The eyes are the mirror of the soul’. I just juggled the words around a bit!
It reminded me, in some respects, of ‘The Picture of Dorian Grey’. I love that you made the story your own though. I’ve never been fond of mirrors anyway, so your story works better for me!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYes, as I responded to Greene, I did give a nod to Dorian Gray.
LOL, I hadn’t noticed Greene’s comment. Great minds!
I really enjoyed it, Linda. I got madder and madder at this obnoxious man, then rejoiced at the conclusion. Very well done 🙂
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you Sandra. I was determined that, after my protagonist in the ‘Wings’ prompt seemed to get under everyone’s skin, that this time the ‘monster’ in my story would get their comeuppance. Really glad you enjoyed it.
Fantastic Linda! I loved the way you pictured this psycho and his horrible actions. It made me think of the Picture of Dorian Gray, except that nobody painted this one, except for your inspired narrative. Well done!
There was definitely a nod to Dorian Gray in this story Greene, my favourite Oscar Wilde book. Well spotted! Thank you so much for your kind words, really appreciated.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWhat a great story, Linda. As you said, this time the evil one got his comeuppance! I do love that word, comeuppance, by the way. Now we all feel vindicated! Your stories never cease to entertain.
Thanks so much for your kind words Fuji. I’m happy to be back in everyone’s good books! ?
This really hooked me from the beginning and kept me engaged all the way through. Deep and dark. Mirrors always have that effect on me. Loved the story and the ending.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI’m the same with mirrors Genya, I think it’s because, as a young child, I watched a film on tv where an old lady disappeared into her mirror. It scared me to bits! Thanks for reading and your lovely comment. So glad you enjoyed it.
A different take on the Dorian Gray theme. The result, with the mirror taking revenge on the young man after his evil actions, feels satisfying. A great story, Linda! Did you notice that Sandra (in Broccoli and Magic Unicorns), you and I all have used the name Sara/Sarah in our Mystery stories? Isn’t that mysterious?
A mystery within a mystery Christer, I hadn’t noticed that! I’m glad you found the ending to my story satisfying, I felt the same way!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GooglePowerful writing! And I’m relieved that the protagonist got the end he so richly deserved!
It really couldn’t have ended in any other way Clare. His destiny was sealed with that very first smirk in the mirror. Thank you for reading and your very kind comment.
Very good story, Linda. I love it. The tension you build up from start to finish is wonderfully impressive. You really always give great stories for us (readers). Nicely done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much for your kind comment Lotchie. I’m so glad you enjoy my stories.
You’re welcome, Linda.
Wow! Linda, I love this story. It’s like watching a thriller movie down your spine. I don’t understand the last paragraph. Can you shed more light?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Thompson, thanks so much for your comment. It really means a lot. To answer your question, the mirror having eyes to the soul can see hidden attitudes, thoughts and deeds. Having seen the dark side of my protagonist, the mirror is tainted with cracks and eventually shatters, causing his death. After which, as his lifeless body lies reflected in the mirror, it is cleansed and returned to its pristine and purified… Read more »
Wow! It does. Thank you.
Linda, this is a very captivating story. It has great tension. I got very upset with your protagonist ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHe certainly got what he deserved Marianna! Thanks for commenting.
Wow, Linda, your story and picture are the cover of the new eBook. That is quite an honor. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story again. Happy Holidays to you and yours. Do you have snow in your part of the world?
Thank you Fuji, I am very honoured to have my story on the front cover and completely overwhelmed! Congratulations to you on having two stories featured in the the book. I live in the South of England, the weather is quite mild at the moment. I’d love some snow, even for a day! Have you any, where you are? Happy Holidays to you and yours, may they be merry and bright!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations, Linda, for having two stories in the new Voice.club publication and for supplying the collection with title and picture. It’s a good choice by the administration! Your stories are always fascinating.
Thank you Christer, it was a lovely surprise! There are so many amazing stories that I feel quite humbled. Congratulations to you too on having two stories featured in the new book. I look forward to reading more from you in the New Year! Happy holidays!