She is nervous. Her heart is about to jump out of its rib cage. She has been rehearsing behind the curtains. It’s time for her to take the stage. He looks into her eyes and nods. She understands what it means.

They have been friends for so long. Inseparable like eye and needle.

As she walks to the microphone, light beams around it. It takes her down memory lane. That night her brother’s body lay on the floor haloed by the street light. She belts out notes from a wounded heart.

Everybody stands to applaud. Tears stream down her face.

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Voice-Team
Voice-Team(@voice-team)
Admin
1 year ago

A moment’s look into tragedy and redemption, told in light. Wonderful use of the prompt.

Fuji
Fuji(@fuji)
1 year ago

This story packs a lot of emotional power, Thompson. We can feel the singer’s pain and nervousness, and we are on her side. I like the line about the two friends being inseparable, “like eye and needle”. Good job.

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Juma
Juma(@juma)
1 year ago

This is very well-written, Thompson. The reader is right there, feeling her anxiety and remembering the terrible scene with her brother. Somehow your not giving your characters names makes them feel even closer to the reader, like we know these people and don’t need an introduction. Good job.

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

Hi, Thompson. I agree with what Juma and Fuji said. Feelings and emotions are there from the beginning to the end of your story. And I like how you insert that metaphor that is “like an eye and a needle.” Well-written. Nice job.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Thompson Emate
1 year ago

You’re welcome, Thompson.

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Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

Such a moving story Thompson. It’s amazing how memories can inspire, be they good or bad. Nicely done

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 year ago

As a reader it is easy to feel the nerves of the singer and the drama in the situation. I like the parallel between how light shines on the microphone and on her brother’s body. Also, how the painful memory is united with the artistic performance, having a deep impact on the listeners.

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Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

Many congratulations to you Thompson, very well done.

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Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 year ago

Congratulations, Thompson! You deserve this success with such a fascinating story.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

Congratulations on winning the grand prize, Thompson. Well done.

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Thompson Emate
1 year ago

You’re welcome and thank you so much.

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Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
1 year ago

Congratulations, Thompson! A powerful story you managed to deliver in very few words. A win well deserved!

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
1 year ago

So much emotion in so few words Thompson. Congratulations on your win.

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Eduardo Olivares
Eduardo Olivares(@eduardo-olivares)
1 year ago

Short and sharp great story. Emotions are grand literature masters if we authors let them be, using the proper mastery of words. Just like you did. Congratulations fellow winner !!!

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