The Spookfest
As the sun slipped behind the mountains and darkness enveloped me, a chill different from other evenings descended on the old red-brick building, most recently used as a nightclub. Surrounded by a small forest of birch and pine, the night spot appeared perfect for the annual Halloween party. The club building was shrouded in mist. It was a damp autumn evening. Some bats hung upside down from the huge Bunyan tree while others already started to leave in search of food and water. All of a sudden the silence was broken by the hoot of an owl. It distracted me and I lost my train of thought.
My girlfriend, Rachel, wished to join the Halloween party but she failed to appear in time. At last I decided to go inside the club.
Elaborate and unique was the flavour of the Halloween night at the hall as the party people arrived in large numbers to spook for fun. Starting with a skeleton napping inside a coffin just outside the entrance, then a mini replica of a haunted castle, pumpkins and bats ushered in guests. While a witch on a broomstick hung from the ceiling and spooky maps guided party goers, spider webs and neon decor added a creepy touch on the night.
Even the bartenders and the disc jockey dressed up for the party with their Halloween make-up and costumes. I spotted Arna who chose to be a vampire while her friend decided to dress up as a wildcat.
After some time, Rachel walked in on me as I watched the party revelers whooping it up. We matched steps to a popular party number. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said in a soft husky whisper. “Okay honey,” I said. “I’ll wait here for you.”
Suddenly, my cell phone buzzed. A male voice wailed from the other end. “This is National Highway Traffic Safety,” the voice said. “Yes,” I responded. “A woman named Rachel was killed tonight in a car crash,” the voice added.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWay to go, Dipayan!
Thanks a lot!
Nice story, Dipayan. I appreciated your attention to detail – a red-brick building, a birch and pine forest, the hoot of an owl. You really set an atmosphere that builds up to the end. I just didn’t understand who Arna was, and why you introduced her. That sentence threw off the rhythm a little bit. But I still enjoyed the story very much. Good work!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleMany thanks, Julie. I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I personally think that the reader will be able to easily assume that ‘Arna’ is known to ‘I’ of the story and is a regular partygoer. The reader shall enjoy a minimum of freedom, isn’t it?
Dipayan, you showed good use of foreshadowing in the young lady failing to appear on time. You built suspense and a sense of wonder in what would happen to her. Well done!
Thanks a million, Margarida.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love the detail in this story, Dipayan. You really paint a clear picture in my mind. The owl, the witch and the broomstick, the “…unique flavour of halloween night.” This was my favorite line. Impressive work!
I truly appreciate your comments, Melissa.
I really liked it, Dipayan. Everything they said was correct, the nice build-up of your story brought in a great ending. Thumbs up.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI’m so thankful for your kind opinion about my story.
You’re most welcome, Dipayan.
The last dance !!!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleMany thanks, Indranil.?
Really liked it Dipayan.
I cannot thank you enough.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleEnjoyed thoroughly. Looking forward for many more.
Many thanks, Paramita.
Great story, Dipayan. At least she came to have a last dance with your protagonist. Well done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI cannot thank you enough, Carrie.
Promises to keep! And a promise kept!
Hope the night club didn’t become a fright club as the hours passed!
It seems that nowadays only supernaturals keep a promise!?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleAwesome one….
Many thanks.
A great, ghostly Halloween tale. Yes, always a bad sign when one’s partner turns up late! ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleBeautiful story, well done.
I cannot thank you enough.
Excellent Story, keep it up.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleMany thanks, Rupak.
Excellent! The writer has captured the suspense and chill nicely in the story. Quite aptly named as well.
You have my greatest thanks!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleVery nice story build up and a good end. Looking forward for many more
I’m more grateful to you than you’ll ever know.
Everyone’s worst nightmare when a loved one is late. You set the mood beautifully in the first paragraph, Dipayan, and I felt I was at the party, too. Then the chilling ending… Well done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleSandra, I truly appreciate your comments.
That sudden shift…. That’s scary!! Nice build up… to the climax. Well written… ?
Many thanks, Sagarnil!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleVery nice story… looking forward for more.
Thanks a million.?
Nice and scary. Loved the story telling and the twist. Well done Dipayan.
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Loved it Dipayan! The guy probably thought it was a prank call, given the Halloween theme of the party. I just wonder how long he waited for Rachel to come back from the toilet…
I’m glad you enjoyed.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleVery nice story. Liked it very much. Looking forward for more..!
Many thanks, Priyanka.
Beautiful
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleMany thanks!
Spooky indeed
Thanks a lot!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations on your winning story, Dipayan. It was really scary, especially the ending! Good writing.
Many thanks, Fuji!
A nice story, Dipayan. I didn’t see the end coming. Congratulations too!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations again on another win, Dipayan.