Whistle Twice for Yes
On All Hallows Eve the Matheson family went camping. After assembling the tent, they left to go on a hike. They were a few hours from their campsite and a storm suddenly blew up. The wind and driving rain enveloped them in a harmattan of disorientation.
Trying to retrace steps back to the campsite became a fool’s errand. They became lost in the weald. Since they had convinced themselves that they were experienced hikers, they knew once they were lost it was best to stay put— settle down and wait for rescue. It was the smart move to make.
Blackness fell. As they were preparing for slumber, they unexpectedly heard a noise coming from the trees.
“Who’s there?” Mom queried. Her question went without an answer…
More rustling could be heard. But once more, when they called out, nothing.
“Maybe it’s someone who can’t speak,” suggested the daughter. So, Mr. Matheson bayed, “Is there anyone there? Just whistle once for no and twice for yes, OK?”
There were two whistles.
“You were right,” dad said to his daughter. “There is someone out there…”
“Are you here to rescue us?” shouted the mom.
Two whistles are heard.
“Are you lost like us?”
Whistle…
“Do you live out here in the woods…?”
Whistle, whistle…
“Let me try,” said the son. “Are you a boy?”
Whistle, whistle…
“Are you a girl?”
Whistle, whistle…
They all look at each other expecting an answer, an explanation of some sort.
Thinking the person within the black was being funny, the son questioned: “Are you human…?”
Whistle…
Fear replaced blackness as the new scent.
“Are you a-a-alone?” mom cried out.
Whistle…
All the color drained from the Matheson’s faces. The next question was asked carefully—as if the answer was already known. Besides, safety at day’s end could be found within cowardice, could it not?
“How m-m-many of you are there?”
Hundreds maybe thousands of whistles could be heard bouncing off the trees, out from the dark. From everywhere, from nowhere. Silence…it fell upon the whole woods thereafter.
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Excellent use of sound in this scary story to intrigue us, draw us in, and frighten us out of our wits. Short choppy sentences help build the suspense, the fact that all family members contribute to the questioning and therefore to their own demise, adds to the suspense.
Worried about the silence, but am holding on to the fact that something did say it was there to rescue them. Both the description of the bouncing whistles and the ensuing silence is powerful.
Thanks for your comment, Susan. Rescue could be a scary prospect in this instance . Does the deliverance from this situation into the next mean for better, or for worse? “The Blair Witch Project” may have loosely inspired this one, I think. Have you ever seen it? Camping in the woods was always a bit spooky to me…I tried asking myself what I’d do in this situation- I have no idea!
I just love the plot line! I was not prepared for the whistling creatures. The way my imagination changed from hearing a country man’s jolly whistle to an eerie inhuman one is just genius itself. Excellent. One thing though, if someone asked if a person was a boy and they said yes logically no one would then also ask if they were a girl since they got their answer. Only if they answered “no” then they would ask if they were a girl. That would make more sense without taking away the surprise of the answer. Also right after when you wrote “thinking the person in black was..” I thought it was someone wearing black, maybe slip in “pitch” before the word “black” so the reader knows you’re referring to darkness. But nothing diminishes the cleverness of the story! Good Job!
Thanks for your comment, Ayah. I do kindly disagree on your “boy or girl” comment . I do believe it was necessary in asking this question. It was only revealed after doing so that this being was inhuman, therefore genderless. The Matheson family held hope that “it” was human that’s why both questions were asked. I also used the word “black” as meaning dark or night . Thank you for your suggestions though, I always appreciate people taking the time.
Take care!
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I thoroughly enjoyed this story, Melissa. It invokes the spirit of Halloween in a very ordinary, personal way – a camping trip, not a graveyard or haunted house! I do tend to agree with Ayah, however, that two “yes” answers for “boy” or “girl” don’t make a lot of sense. I mean, why would they ask about the second gender? Wouldn’t it make more sense to ask the question twice and get two “no” answers? The result would be the same, and even more so – genderless. Love the story regardless.
I appreciate everyone’s opinions but with all due respect if the story didn’t make sense and it was that problematic I’m
unsure why they’d make the choice to publish it. Again, I kindly disagree but it doesn’t take away from me appreciating the comment. Thank you.
Love this Melissa, great build up of suspense and super creepy too. Great stuff!
Thanks for the comment and the support, Carrie! I think I enjoy the spooky stuff too much! ?
I love the idea we have no idea what type of creatures these are…so that adds to the menace and I like that you left the ending unresolved. Also learned a new word, ‘harmattan’ ?
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Thanks for the comment, Paul! Learning new words is fun. Adjectives, nouns and adverbs – I like discovering new ones! I’m nerdy maybe ?. Also thanks for pointing out the “unresolved”. That adds a little something to a story, sometimes, I think . ?
The using of sound is skilfully intended to invoke up spooky images in the story. Good job, Melissa!
Thank you, Dipayan!
You’re welcome, Melissa.
Love the last paragraph in which the woods erupt into whistles. As if one creepy presence was not enough! And here I am alone in a 250 plus year old house, reading a chilling story!
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I appreciate your comment so much, Margarita! Thanks for taking the time to read it. You live in a 250 year old house? I have to admit I’m slightly jealous right now! There is no better place to read a spooky story, if you ask me .?
I’m not usually worried when my little dog needs a toilet walk in the middle of the night through the trees on our property but tonight I’m glad she’s already ‘been’ and we’re staying inside! I loved the use of whistle responses – it really added to the creepy, scary feel! Well done.
Thanks for your comment, Susan. I tried to do a little something different, I’m glad you enjoyed it! And you have to take the dog through the trees to go to the potty? Eek! I’d be scared too!
I like your story, Melissa. The tension builds up in a great way as the questions and answers are given. At the peak, no more questions are asked and we are left with the dark, scary uncertainty. Good job!
I’m glad you enjoyed the story, Christer. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
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The build-up of your story is so scary, Melissa. It is very effective to me as if I don’t want to go out in the yard tonight. Good job.
Thanks for your comment, Lotchie. I don’t think I’d want to hear whistling in the woods either! That would be scary indeed.
Yes. I agree. You’re most welcome.
Really good story! So creepy!
Heather, thanks! I had a bit of a mess up there. But I’m glad people are still able to appreciate it!
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Congratulations, Melissa. Being selected as a RunnerUp out of so many great stories is something to celebrate!
Thank you, Fuji! I agree wholeheartedly! I wanted to tell you congratulations, as well. You are most deserving of it.
Melissa, big congratulations! Your story was my favorite! Really chilling. I can’t wait to read your next submission!
Heather, thanks for your kind comment. It has made my day! ?
Congratulations Melissa, this was a really super story, well done.
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Thank you Carrie! ?
Thank you to the Voice- Team for the opportunity! There were so many great stories… Also, thanks to everyone that commented and used their written voice for kind words and support. This has meant a lot to me!
You did a great job and deserve the Runner-Up prize, Melissa. Congratulations!
Christer, thank you for the kind words!
Melissa, congratulations on your story! Loved it on my first read and enjoyed it again now.
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Paul, thanks so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
This is a real spooky one. The whistling in the woods brings such an eerie feeling. I also love the imagery. Well done. Congratulations on your selection for the runner up prize. It’s a deserved one.
Thank you, Thompson. I tried to make it a little different- I appreciate your comment!
Hello, Melissa. Congratulations on your win. I was not wrong. That this story of yours will win.
Thank you, Lotchie.
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You’re welcome, Melissa.