
Hell Oh Darkness My Old Fiend
Hell’s End Nursing Home evokes many sensations, from goosebumps skittering over my skin, to the need to constantly look over my shoulder, certain someone watches me. Named after the mining village, the home was converted from a semi-derelict building that had stood empty for decades. There’s only a handful of residents – perhaps they pick up on the same negativity as I.
I’m the new night matron. For the first few weeks not much happens, other than items going missing and turning up in random places. Eventually the night shifts get more… interesting. Doors bang, pictures fall, cups slide across level tabletops.
But tonight…
All the overhead lights in the building suddenly go out. I reach into my pocket for my pen torch, just as every emergency buzzer sounds from the unoccupied west wing of the building, red lights flashing wildly.
We all hate the west wing, with its shadowy corners and icy cold spots. It gives us all the creeps. Dotty, one of my auxiliary nurses, describes it as ‘black as the Devil’s back passage’.
She isn’t wrong; it feels… demonic. Anyway, we go through the rooms turning off all the buzzers, until we reach room 12a. The door refuses to budge. None of the doors lock from the outside and the room is supposed to be unoccupied. I push down on the handle and Dotty and I push against the door with all our might until it gives enough to squeeze through. I reach for the buzzer and swivel my torch around the empty room, shadows dancing in the beam of light. My torch alights onto a heavy oak wardrobe that had been pushed up against the back of the door. We are mystified.
Suddenly, a voice roars “Get out!” The floor shivers and rolls beneath my feet, windows rattle in their panes. Dotty grabs hold of my hand and pulls me back through the door. We run together through the west wing, as the building shudders, collapsing behind us.
Above the cacophony of falling masonry, I hear fiendish laughter in the darkness… followed by the sound of silence.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleJust a brief note about this story. Many of the events actually happened though the names of the nursing home and auxiliary nurse have been changed.
We absolutely could not resist this title. Bravo, Carrie! Simon & Garfunkle are smiling.
Thank you; I was hoping someone else would pick up on the title, plus of course the closing few words. It’s one of my favourite songs, so I just couldn’t resist 🙂
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWell done, Carrie. You set the scene perfectly and I’m sure I heard a noise coming from somewhere at the other end of my house! I remember sitting through the night at a nursing home with my Mum when my Nan passed away. Lots of interesting sounds!
Thanks Sandra, that place in particular was awful. We all hated it, including the residents. It didn’t stay open very long and a couple of years after it closed the building was demolished because of subsidence. Whether that would have been enough to move a wardrobe across a room and block a door… who knows. We had 2 different residents ask to be moved from that particular room because of the shadows… Read more »
Before even having started to read your story, I loved the title. An excellent play on words and reminder of the old song. I’m glad, however, that you mentioned that the last line was equally an echo of the same song. I should have seen it, but didn’t. Reading your comments is almost as chilling as the story itself. It must have been a different experience to work night shifts there. Did… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHi Christer, thanks for your kind comments. Some things in the story did happen that way, others I added, some I couldn’t fit in to make a coherent story in the word count. The wardrobe is something that actually happened, the roaring voice did not. The room wasn’t actually in an uninhabited west wing, it was occupied at the time of the wardrobe incident, although the resident had been in the day… Read more »
Thanks for taking time to elaborate on your story, Carrie. There certainly are some fascinating details in it. I’m glad that you shared your experiences with us and created this impressive story.
Nooooo, these happenings were based on actual events!?! Love it. Oh man. Creepy x 10! I loved the sentences, “We all hate the west wing, with its shadowy corners and icy cold spots. It gives us all the creeps. Dotty, one of my auxiliary nurses describes it as ‘black as the Devil’s back passage.’” This paragraph was really standout. I almost feel like you could start the story with it and then… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Heather, glad you enjoyed it. I’ll certainly consider your suggestion if I ever decide to extend it; I’m considering using it as one of my ‘Callie Simms, Ghost Hunter’ chapters at some stage, so it would definitely be fitting. Cheers 🙂
I loved your new take on a haunted hospital/nursing home! I noticed the references to the song immediately but what I really enjoyed was the touch of humour coming through Dotty’s comments about the “the Devil’s back passage” ? ? I just wonder if the scary voice telling the nurses to get out was really malevolent, since by warning them it saved their life, allowing them to escape the building… Read more »
Glad you enjoyed it Greene. Yes, the real ‘Dotty’ wasn’t one to mince her words. I had to tell her many times to watch what she said in front of the residents! ‘Back Passage’ definitely wasn’t the original terminology ?. And, who knows with these fiends!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCarrie, there is a build up of spine-chilling horror in the story. Truth is stranger than fiction sometimes!
Thank you, Dipayan, for taking the time to comment. Yes, there are many strange tales out there that really can’t be explained. It gives us authors plenty to inspire us though 🙂
Super scary…awesome!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you; it was super scary the bits I was there for in real life too!
Carrie, this story is beyond scary! I am unsure whether the story or your comments on the story are more scary! I also immediately picked up on your reference to Simon and Garfunkle’s song. It is a great song, indeed 🙂 Just like Greene, I was wondering too if the voice yelling to get out was malevolent, or actually helping them. Brilliant story!
Thank you, Marianna. I’m not sure why it never occurred to me to write it down before, especially when it’s still so vidid in my memory, the feeling of utter dread when I turned the car up the driveway towards the home. I couldn’t decide, as I was writing, whether the fiend was angry or giving a warning ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleEither way it was scary! ?
Hello, Carrie. Oh, Carrie, the title was catchy. It was a super scary tale and perfectly crafted. Nicely done. I love it.
Spine-tingling! I love the Simon & Garfunkle references! I had to listen to the song right away. I love the history and the village name. The underlying element of truth makes it more compelling. Your opening line is good, although I agree with another comment that you could open with: We all hate the west wing, with its shadowy corners and icy cold spots. It gives us all the creeps. Dotty, one of… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks so much for reading and commenting Trista. You’ll have to participate in the next competition. I love the prompts for inspiring different stories.