You wake up with a start. You are drenched with sweat. A few deep breaths into wakefulness and you realise it is hard to tell the difference between the nightmare you’ve just escaped and the place you are in. There is darkness all around, and nothing to anchor you to your new reality. How, you wonder, could one manage to remove every hint of light from a room, leaving not even a single crack?

Groping around you find the edge of the mattress and stand up on the floor. Suddenly, the far wall of this room lights up and several ants of various sizes can be seen trotting on a huge screen. The wonder is the size of the microphone that captured their tiny legs hurtling in a flurry, sounding like a malicious animal chewing up your ears.

You can hardly look without screaming. The brown-coloured, slim-waisted, six-legged monsters are so intensely magnified on the screen, going up and down mounds, brandishing their pincers, hoisting high their antennae, cutting huge chunks of leaves, making intricate patterns and worst of all, grabbing up unwitting caterpillars and beetles.

And now they crawl all over the wall, to the floor where you stand, onto your bed and up your legs slowly. You are frantic and breathless, screaming hysterically, throwing your arms and feet about, sweeping your skin with your fingers.

“Get them off, please!” you shout, to no avail. It’s been only six minutes and yet it feels like forever. By and by the pincers grip your skin and tear in. You can feel chunks of meat being carried away and you decide to numb the pain away.

Slowly you walk to one end of the room and look up at the observation window. You feel naked now, almost boneless amongst the ants. On the other side of the window, the doctor quietly looks at his stopwatch as he notes in his book: The flooding approach. Day two of thirty.

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Voice-Team
Voice-Team(@voice-team)
Admin
10 months ago

Wonderfully creepy and sinister. The second-person narration is an inspired strategy! 

Barb Dukeman
Barb Dukeman(@barb-dukeman)
10 months ago

Day 2 of 30. Yikes. Reminds me of an old Vincent Price movie called “The Tingler.” You have great phrasing: “Boneless amongst the ants” and “brandishing their pincers” as if they were swords. Good job.

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Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
10 months ago

This is a very gripping story Daniel. I’m not overly fond of ants since discovering a nest of them living in our house when we first moved in. They certainly make my skin crawl. The tension in your story is palpable. Great job

Dipayan Chakrabarti
Dipayan Chakrabarti(@dipayan-chakrabarti)
10 months ago

The story keeps the reader in tension until the ending. Fantastic!

Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
10 months ago

This story is so scary, Daniel! I think it is because bugs creep me out- they all do. The idea of them crawling all over me is a lot to digest. You did such a great job! I’m able to place myself there, even though I don’t want to be *laughs*.

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Ndolo Anthony
Ndolo Anthony(@ndolo-anthony)
10 months ago

Great writing as always Dan!

Ifrah Abdisalan
Ifrah Abdisalan(@ifrah-abdisalan)
10 months ago

Great read!

Cynthia Wambui
Cynthia Wambui(@cynthia-wambui)
10 months ago

No ones wants such an event for sure. Sends a chill down the spine. Great work Daniel….love it

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Sandra James
Sandra James(@sandra-james)
10 months ago

I can almost feel those slim-waisted ants marching towards me as I type this, Daniel. I live on a small acreage in rural Australia and we have lots of ants and ant nests 🙁 They have a nasty sting and I once stood on a nest and had them climbing over me in seconds! I feel for the protagonist and love the opening paragraph which really sets this very scary story up ‘the difference between the nightmare you’ve just escaped and the place you are in’. Well done, Daniel!

Evans Aranga
Evans Aranga(@evans-aranga)
10 months ago

Nice ? One ….
Comrade keep it up

Mary Nyambura
Mary Nyambura(@mary-nyambura)
10 months ago

I did not see the end coming. You’re a great creative??

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Thompson Emate
Thompson Emate(@thompson-emate)
10 months ago

A nice story that can set up an irritating ply. Well done.

Fuji
Fuji(@fuji)
10 months ago

Oh my, Daniel, I will never look at an ant the same way again. This was a terrifying read. I don’t want to know about the third day, or any following that! Excellent writing! Congratulations on your win!

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
10 months ago

Hello, Daniel. I could feel the ants crawling on my body. And I don’t like that feeling anyway, especially when they bite me. Great job. And congratulations on your win.

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Thompson Emate
Thompson Emate(@thompson-emate)
10 months ago

Congratulations! Daniel. Creepy and spooky indeed.

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