Rite of Passage
“You’re mine,” the singer croons, “and we belong together.” The beat is slow and easy. I hope my clumsy body can find the rhythm. My arms are too long, my feet too big. I can’t believe she’s actually dancing with me.
We’re playing an oldie but goodie on the jukebox. Ritchie Valens. “He was too young to die,” she sobs. It’s been six years since that plane crash – why get so shook up about it now? “He was only seventeen,” she adds, “just like me.” I pull her closer, burying my face in her hair. So soft, so clean. “My Breck Girl,” I whisper, forgetting her name. We’ve had classes together all four years of high school, but don’t really know each other.
She was two seats ahead of me in typing class the day the teacher left suddenly, then came back with tears streaming down her face. “The President’s been shot,” she told us. I kept on blindly typing, until someone lifted my hands from the keys and gently led me out of the room. I remember pictures of a pink suit splattered with blood, getting out of school for a week, mom crying nonstop. That school year passed in a daze.
Now, two years later, jungles and burning villages with strange sounding names fill the tv screen every night. After the evening news, dad shows me his WW2 medals. He doesn’t seem proud. He seems torn up. “War is a living hell, Charlie,” he tells me.
My Breck Girl sings me back to the present. “Yes, we belong together, for all eternity.”
“Cathy!” I blurt out. “Will you marry me?”
She keeps on singing. I must have only thought the question. But at least I remembered her name. The song ends, and we drop another dime into the jukebox. The Four Tops.
“Sugar pie, honey bunch,” I sing, shutting out everything except our warm young bodies gliding across the floor. I reach into my jacket pocket, knowing that the unopened letter with its dreadful summons is waiting. It will keep. For now, I just want to dance.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleA glimpse into the lives of two young American teens in the mid-Sixties, a glowing moment surrounded by darkness and death. Great use of setting here.

Great story, Julie. I love how you captured your protagonist’s almost desperation to have someone to hold onto/belong to/marry etc because he knows the bad news that he’s been called up. I also got a strong sense of the time/place and nice touch re: his Dad’s antipathy towards conflict. Well done.
Thank you so much for your comments, Paul! I’m so glad you got a strong sense of the time/place – I worked a lot on that! I don’t usually write biographical stories, but this one is based a great deal on my real life. Like Cathy, I was 17 in 1965. Like Charlie and Cathy, I was in typing class in high school when the teacher came in to tell us about… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI agree with you Paul. I also had a strong sense of time and place in this story. I enjoy this time in history, Julie. I think you captured the 60’s perfectly. My dad had told us many times what he was doing when Kennedy died. “Everybody remembers exactly where they were, and what they were doing when that happened.” I really love this story, great work Julie!
Thanks so much for your feedback, Melissa. I am curious about your Dad, from Canada, remembering so well where he was when Kennedy was shot. I didn’t realize but should have, that the entire world was stunned, just as we were in the United States. The fifties were tough for the women, but I have to say those years of the sixties were tough on the young men in this country. Not… Read more »
My dad was on his way home from school early, (not sure exactly why) and a kid ran to him from down the street. He told him Kennedy was shot—dad just always told me that all he could do was stand there. He placed his belongings on the ground for a moment. ‘Stunned’, that was the word he used. The untimely deaths of Kennedy and John Lennon were something that impacted him.… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHello, Julie. I agree with them. You have completely captured the time, place and emotions of your story. And brought me back in history. Well done for a great story.
Thank you so much, Lotchie. It was a period of time that changed many of us.
You’re welcome, Julie. Yes, I agree.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleOnce more, my sentiments have already been expressed in a far better way than I can. This is another fantastic story Julie. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading through every one of these this evening. I’m glad I don’t have to judge and can drop a like on as many as I want to. Excellent story, very expertly crafted.
Thanks so much, Carrie. I value your feedback!
The ‘will you marry me?’ question had me puzzled Julie until I read your response to Paul. Pure desperation. It’s unimaginable what must go through a young boy’s mind receiving such a letter and just wanting to shut it out. I like how you didn’t reveal the letter until the very end allowing us to fit all the pieces of your story together. Very nicely done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much Linda. This story wrote itself, from my own memories. It’s been hard to even think about those years. We were all just kids, caught up in something huge and dark and terrible. By the way, Linda, congratulations for being the new featured member on the Star Page! I read the description of you and your writing and smiled in agreement. How nice to be honored in such a… Read more »
I can’t imagine how frightening it must have been for those so young to be called upon to fight. The newsreels we were shown in the UK were truly horrendous.
I am truly honoured Julie to be featured on the Star Page. That has really made my day!
This story is so atmospheric that it carries you back in time. I can just imagine a little diner, with a jukebox and the smell of burgers and candyfloss. It’s all innocent and clean, with the dogs of war sitting in a letter in a young man’s pocket. I can feel his fear as well as his hopes for a future with Cathy. Love it!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much Greene – I had to search a long time to find just the right picture to help set the atmosphere. But the one I found is amazing – I loved its “Jive Rock Sixty” label. Your description of the juxtaposition of innocence and the dogs of war is very fitting. Thanks for reading.
A very well told story, Julie! You have caught the atmosphere of that time perfectly, with the music from the jukebox and the historical events. The backdrop is perfect when you arrive at the conclusion of it all – the draft letter in Charlie’s pocket. Then, the reason for his unexpected proposal and his thoughts of death and war are explained. I also like your decision to let Charlie keep his letter… Read more »
Thank you so much Christer. At first, the theme running throughout was to be “too young to die”. That was one of the recurring phrases when Kennedy was killed. He was our youngest president ever, and much too young to die. I even toyed with the idea of having that as the title. But I thought that was giving away too much too soon. Then I thought of many native cultures who… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleFrom the very first I was drawn into this story – first of all by singing all the songs that were a part of the story and a part of my childhood. Reliving these plus the subsequent memories made this a very personal story. My heart clinched at the last paragraph. Too true for too many during the 1960’s.
The songs really do bring back the feel of that time, don’t they? Thanks for reading and for your astute comments!
Julie, your story gave me a glimpse of a piece of history I didn’t know much about. It is terrible to imagine the fear and uncertainty those young people must have felt, mixed with the hopes of having a future with someone they loved. Your story was like pieces of a puzzle, coming together piece by piece, until you get to the last paragraph, bringing it all together. This is such a… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHello Marianna – I’m so happy to have shown you a moment in time that was perhaps not familiar to you. I really like the way you described the pieces of the puzzle coming together in the story. I hadn’t thought about it, but in retrospect, that’s exactly what I intended. Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment.
Congratulations Julie, such an emotional and thought-provoking story.
Thank you, Linda. I felt very emotional writing it. That was a period of time that was almost surreal – a little like lock down these days. We’re always fighting some battle or another, aren’t we? And yet we find or make time to care about each other, create something of beauty and hopefully feel gratitude.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations, Julie. You captured a particular moment in history, and brought it to life in a very poignant way.
Thank you so much, Fuji. I was surprised and pleased to be a Runner Up!
Congratulations, Julie! Your story took us back to the 60s in a masterful way and deserved this success.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations, Julie. This story stayed in my mind long after I read it. Well done.
Congratulations Julie!! I am very happy for you as I really loved your story, well deserved!!
Congratulations, Julie. ?
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