As the evening drew in, Esther wanted to be alone. There was a party in town and her lover had worded an invitation, so she called and turned him down. She lied that she had an errand to run, that her mother depended on her for it. And when she heard her friend’s buzz on the phone, inquiring on her absence at the girls’ dinner downtown, she was apt to top her lie to the crown. She said there was a fever bringing her down, and she would need the evening to recline.

Thus from all but her mother she contrived a reason to be away on her own. Then she stole across the lawn and went for a walk in the night, forlorn, whispering solemn wishes to the moon, and letting her mind wander into the unknown. Her heart beat for a world other than this one. This cruel one that wanted her to drown. This one with weights that pulled her down. This one where she had a thousand reasons to mourn. This one that bade the tears rain from her eyes and punctuated each waking moment with pain.

When she felt numbed enough to return, she trekked back the three miles she had gone, in which time most noises had died down, and as she approached home she thought of how to explain her glaring absence with a lie and a grin. But her mother stood with arms crossed on the lawn. When she saw her, she opened her arms and drew her daughter in. She did not utter a word.

Out there in the night they did yet remain, locked in a tight embrace with heart in between. Their breaths heaved in unison. Their tears were drawn on their faces, flowing onto each other’s shoulders. They were rills on the rolling plains of affliction, and yet streams of affection — a reminder that she was not alone; that here she did belong. That she would always have her cornerstone: her mother, with her gift to discern.

5 2 votes
Post Rating
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
14 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo (@lotchie-carmelo)
3 months ago

Hi, Daniel. It is so relatable. But I wonder why Esther wants to be alone? Why did she lie to her lover and friends? On the other hand, the mother is really our partner and sympathizer in any failure, pain, loss, or whatever we go through. Our mother is always there for us extending her love and care. That no matter what happens, we always belong to our mother. Great story.

Julie Harris
Julie Harris (@julie-harris)
3 months ago
Reply to  Daniel Onchoka

In response to Lotchie’s comment, I don’t think any particular events had to lead up to Esther’s sorrow. Any sensitive person on this planet can feel the pain of the world, whether or not we experience it ourselves, and most of us do experience it in varying degrees. Daniel, you wrote the story extremely well.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo (@lotchie-carmelo)
3 months ago
Reply to  Daniel Onchoka

Hello, Daniel. Thank you for sharing about the common dictum in writing. I learn a lot from you. I can’t wait for your more stories here. 

Last edited 3 months ago by Lotchie Carmelo
Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei (@margarida-brei)
3 months ago

Glad that the protagonist did not drown, but felt her sense of belonging in her mother’s presence!

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof (@christer-norrlof)
3 months ago

I love the way you picture the unhappy girl’s need to be by herself, Daniel, her feelings of sadness and yearning for something different; a world, “other than this one.” It’s very well described, as is the reuniting of mother and daughter in the late night. Great writing!

kepha osoro
kepha osoro (@kepha-osoro)
3 months ago

What an interesting story.
You are able to capture and hold my interest to the end.
Once more congratulations for such a good work.

Julie Harris
Julie Harris (@julie-harris)
3 months ago

This is a lovely, sensitive story, Daniel. I suspect that most of us can relate with the idea of wanting to be alone, to be with our own thoughts, to feel the pain of humanity. At least all of us who are introverts are very familiar with Esther’s feelings. The beauty of her mother’s understanding brought me to tears. You understand the human condition very well, and are especially in touch with the hearts of women. You will make a spectacular doctor.

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Bonaventure Ogeto
Bonaventure Ogeto (@bonaventure-ogeto)
3 months ago

 ????  ???? 

Thompson Emate
Thompson Emate (@thompson-emate)
3 months ago

Daniel, this is a well-written story, a touching one too. A deserved 5-star rating. Your choice and play with words is extraordinaire. I learnt some new phrases like, “stole across the lawn”. The last paragraph is so enriching. I must admit that you are indeed a creative writer.

Become a PatronHelp support our family-friendly mission

Most Voted Comments

Avatar
8

Bait

It takes a real talent to tell a story in so few words. What was…


Avatar
6

Endure and Sing

Inspirational piece. Am glad you picked the rat to be the protagonist in your story,…


Avatar
6

Endure and Sing

Such a sweet tale - and with a good moral to the story. I thought…


Avatar
5

Endure and Sing

Wow! This is a good story! Really good to read to little kids, the moral…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, it really does add an extra dimension to hear your story read aloud…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

In my neighboring country Denmark, we have the classical storyteller Hans-Christian Andersen. Your sweet story…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

A really nice one with a wonderful story line. I can see why this was…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

A beautiful story! I was reminded of seeing Paul Potts and Susan Boyle on Britain's…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Your story inspired me to keep going no matter how discouraging it gets. At times…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Thank you so much for the feedback! I pray that the young readers will be…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Thank you for taking the time to comment and convey your thoughts on the story.…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, don't we all feel like the rat in your story at times! We…


Avatar
4

Vows

I must admit it was the picture of the church, with its grave yard, under…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

A very powerful story, Daniel. Your writing makes it easy to feel the reality of…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

Oh my gosh, Daniel. Your story really defines the word superb. You make me experience…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

A horrendous situation, more so because so many people find themselves going through it. A…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

What an extremely powerful story Daniel, really well written and with an ending that had…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

Daniel, this story is one of the best flash fiction stories I've ever read. You…


Avatar
3

In Memoriam

It's terrible to lose someone you love and accept that he is not a part…


Avatar
3

The Problem with Women

I think Carrie has said it all. We rest our collective case.  ? 


Recent Comments






www.Voice.club

Upcoming Site
Maintenance
Scheduled for Today @ 8:45am ET

USA Timezone – Eastern Time – (GMT-5)

Days
Hours
Minutes
Seconds


Voice-Team will perform upgrades and add new features!

During our scheduled maintenance
Voice.club will be inaccessible

14
0
Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
()
x
Scroll to Top

Sharing a Post

Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!