Penfold
“I’ve got some good news. We’re going on holiday,” said Mum, “We leave in two days.”
There was one moment of absolute silence before the twins, Jem and Clem, who were far more intelligent than any twelve year old deserved to be, burst into chatter.
“Ooh, where to?” Clem imagined riding a camel in Egypt and looking for hidden treasure in the tombs of the great pyramids. Jem, on the other hand, was daydreaming about the Caribbean, sailing a pirate ship, searching for lost treasures.
“Northumberland,” said Mum.
“Huh?” Clem was still lost in her vision of golden desert sands.
“Where’s that?” asked Jem.
“It’s as far north as you can get in England.”
“But what is there to do?” Clem’s face fell, her dream-bubble bursting as she poured milk on her favourite cereal, chocolate Wheaty-Bits.
Jem had his ear to his cereal bowl, listening to the crackling pops of his Chocco-Poppers, dreams of pirate plunder fading.
“It’s a very interesting place,” said Mum. “We’ll be staying near Hadrian’s Wall.”
The twins thought it sounded rather dull.
“Mr Connolly is in the lounge; he’s brought Very Special Agent Penfold who will be going on holiday with us.”
The children groaned. They called Mr Connolly ‘Mr Grumpy-Socks’. They’d discovered recently that their father, who’d died before they were born, had been an agent in a division of the British Secret Service. They’d been in witness protection their whole lives and hadn’t known it. Mr Connolly was an agent too and had moved in next door to keep an eye on them. How could they enjoy themselves if they had a secret agent watching them?
They headed into the lounge to be met with a very nice surprise.
“Jem, Clem,” said Mr Connolly, “I’d like you to meet Very Special Agent Penfold.”
Both children fell to their knees, stroking the silky ears of the Belgian Malinois dog who sat obediently in front of them.
“Can we keep him?”
Mum nodded.
Clem exclaimed, “This is the best news ever. I don’t think I’ll ever call you Mr Grumpy-Socks again.”
Even Mr Connolly laughed.
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Tender ending! A family story indeed.
Thank you, Henry. This is a very abridged part of a children’s chapter book that I’m writing that just felt fitting for the prompt, so I would love some feedback from people with children, aged around 8-12, about whether or not they’d like to know more 🙂
What a great story Carrie! Special Agents, Witness Protection and two children eager for adventure! But the icing on the cake has to be Penfold. Who doesn’t love a dog? I loved the humour and the heartwarming ending. Brilliantly done!
Thank you, Linda, this is such a lovely comment. I really hope to get the twins story finished one day, they are so much fun to write about, and I believe that Very Special Agent Penfold will most definitely be corruptible!
Hello, Carrie. Your story is so fabulous and adventurous. I also love imagining riding a camel in Egypt, and searching for a hidden treasure is an exciting hobby that I love the most. In addition, your ending is pleasant and humorous. Well-written.
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Thanks, Lotchie. I dread to think what mischief the twins might get up to in the pyramids if they ever got there!
You’re welcome, Carrie. I am hoping that nothing bad happens to them.
Shh, Carrie. Don’t tell people about the adventures to be had up here. The beauties of my county are a well kept secret ????
I’m on my way up north right now. I promise not to cause any corruption! Jem and Clem are being whisked up to Northumberland to get them away from trouble brewing at home – lets just hope it doesn’t follow them there!
Reading your story and thinking about my old Secret Five books made today a good day indeed! I’m a cat person really but I can’t help falling in love with Penfold! Well done!
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Thanks Greene, I loved my Enid Blyton books too, including the Five, but the Adventure series was my favourite, especially The Castle of Adventure. I desperately wanted my own Cockatoo!
Love the sweet twist to your story, Carrie.
Thank you, Margarida. When the children need protecting, what could be better than a retired service dog. Much more fun than a grown up!
Carrie, this is a fantastic story, which I know our kids in your mentioned age-group, will love! Yes, they would definitely want to read more! Jem and Clem’s reactions to hearing where they will be going on holiday was hilarious. What a lovely surprise that Agent Penfold was a dog! I really enjoyed reading this.
Thank you for the lovely comment, Marianna. It gives me hope that children may enjoy the story if I do manage to finish the book. I must get back to work on it!
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This story feels like the epitome of family friendly. The loving mom, cute kids, AND a new dog? Nice.
Thank you, Kayja. I started writing about Jem and Clem (short for Jeremiah and Clemency) a couple of years ago. I usually write fantasy / sci fi aimed at Y/A – Adult readers. I never intended writing for children (despite doing a write storybooks for children online course), and suddenly found myself starting this children’s chapter book. I’m at about 6K words now, but I have so little confidence in my writing skills that I lose the impetus to finish things – the joy of short stories! This is a very abridged chapter that just felt fitting for this competition. The lovely comments so far are making me feel like the story won’t be a dead loss!
Loved it! My little girl would absolutely adore this as a full-novel. Hats off, Carrie ????
Thank you so much, Steven, I’d better crack on with writing it then, or she’ll be reading it to your grandchildren ????
Congratulations Carrie! I love Penfold, well done!
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Thank you so much, Greene. My third place public vote isn’t such an achievement as you being a finalist, but at least people seem to have enjoyed the story and it’s given me encouragement to try and finish the book ????
Congratulations, Carrie.
Congratulations Carrie! I loved this story.