She had saved all autumn for the pea-green coat that matched her eyes and kept her snug and warm on the way to work.

When the siren went off, the evacuation was fast. By the time they reached the underground station shelter, the office and her pea-green coat were gone. For two nights she huddled under a dark green blanket that smelled of dust and turnips, and dreamed of that world of the pea-green coat. 

Walking across to a pile of clothing, she put on a dirty green and beige camouflage jacket and picked up an AK-47. 

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Voice-Team (@voice-team)
2 months ago

Susan, this is a powerful story, written with great skill. We live in difficult times, and as writers, we must find ways to speak hard truths without creating even more conflict. You’ve achieved all this and more.

Voice-Team
Admin
Voice-Team (@voice-team)
1 month ago

An understated story of fear and loss, made more poignant by the progressions of shades of green and of states of mind. The reader is taken from “snug and warm” to “dust and turnips” to “an AK-47” all in the space of a few paragraphs. A many-layered rendering that stays with the reader for a long time.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo (@lotchie-carmelo)
2 months ago

Hello, Susan. Hats off to your great skills in writing. It’s a story that says so much.

Fuji
Fuji (@fuji)
2 months ago

Susan, every story of yours that I’ve ever read was well-written and meaningful, but this one is among your very best. You’ve expressed loss without pathos, fear and anger without melodrama. I especially liked the very human, down to earth touch of the smell of “dust and turnips”. So much sorrow here, so much unbearable grief.

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Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof (@christer-norrlof)
1 month ago

I love the way you have used the color green in three distinctively different ways in the three paragraphs of your story, Susan. Very skilled!

Julie Harris
Julie Harris (@julie-harris)
1 month ago

Congratulations, Susan, on a well-written story and a well-deserved win. It is very moving, heartbreaking. It takes a great writer to say so much in so few words.

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof (@christer-norrlof)
1 month ago

Congratulations on your success, Susan! It’s well deserved.

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo (@lotchie-carmelo)
1 month ago

Congratulations, Susan.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo (@lotchie-carmelo)
1 month ago
Reply to  Susan Dawson

You’re welcome.

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