She had saved all autumn for the pea-green coat that matched her eyes and kept her snug and warm on the way to work.

When the siren went off, the evacuation was fast. By the time they reached the underground station shelter, the office and her pea-green coat were gone. For two nights she huddled under a dark green blanket that smelled of dust and turnips, and dreamed of that world of the pea-green coat. 

Walking across to a pile of clothing, she put on a dirty green and beige camouflage jacket and picked up an AK-47. 

    5 1 vote
    Post Rating
    15 Comments
    Oldest
    Newest Most Voted
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Voice-Team
    Voice-Team(@voice-team)
    Admin
    1 year ago

    Susan, this is a powerful story, written with great skill. We live in difficult times, and as writers, we must find ways to speak hard truths without creating even more conflict. You’ve achieved all this and more.

    Voice-Team
    Voice-Team(@voice-team)
    Admin
    1 year ago

    An understated story of fear and loss, made more poignant by the progressions of shades of green and of states of mind. The reader is taken from “snug and warm” to “dust and turnips” to “an AK-47” all in the space of a few paragraphs. A many-layered rendering that stays with the reader for a long time.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    1 year ago

    Hello, Susan. Hats off to your great skills in writing. It’s a story that says so much.

    Fuji
    Fuji(@fuji)
    1 year ago

    Susan, every story of yours that I’ve ever read was well-written and meaningful, but this one is among your very best. You’ve expressed loss without pathos, fear and anger without melodrama. I especially liked the very human, down to earth touch of the smell of “dust and turnips”. So much sorrow here, so much unbearable grief.

    Christer Norrlof
    Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
    1 year ago

    I love the way you have used the color green in three distinctively different ways in the three paragraphs of your story, Susan. Very skilled!

    Julie Harris
    Julie Harris(@julie-harris)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations, Susan, on a well-written story and a well-deserved win. It is very moving, heartbreaking. It takes a great writer to say so much in so few words.

    Christer Norrlof
    Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations on your success, Susan! It’s well deserved.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations, Susan.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    Reply to  Susan Dawson
    1 year ago

    You’re welcome.

    Recent Comments

    15
    0
    Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
    ()
    x
    Scroll to Top

    Sharing a Post

    Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

    Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!