Chloe and Ben were nine years of age and they were inseparable.

Pitford was a tiny hamlet with no transport links, only the school bus that took them to their lessons five miles away. They were the only children in Pitford, so naturally they gravitated towards each other. Ben’s father worked as a farm labourer nearby whilst Chloe’s was Commanding Officer at the top-secret army depot seven miles over the moor.

At Chloe’s birthday party, attended only by Ben and the offspring of two other Army officers, her father sprang the news that he was being transferred to Washington in the role of British Military Attaché.

‘It’s a very important, job, Chloe,’ he said quietly. ‘You will be living in a really nice house in America and meeting many more boys and girls.’

‘And it’s a big promotion for Daddy,’ added her mother.

Chloe looked at Ben, who sat watching her as if trying to absorb the information.

‘I don’t want to live in America. I like it in Pitford.’ A tear trickled down her cheek. ‘What about Ben? He won’t have any friends at all if I go to America.’

Her mother hugged her. ‘But you’re so young. You can write to each other. And there’s the internet nowadays so it will be easy for you to keep in touch.’

‘But Ben doesn’t have the internet. They can’t afford it.’


They stood at the roadside, watching the removers drive away. Ben took Chloe’s hand. ‘One day I’m going to marry you, Chloe. I promise.’

Chloe snuffled into her tear-soaked handkerchief. ‘I believe you, Ben.’


The Registrar smiled. ‘Stephen and Chloe, it is now customary for the groom to kiss the bride.’ He watched as they embraced, and the guests applauded.

A few minutes later, as they signed the register, he said, ‘You don’t recognise me Chloe. It’s the beard and glasses. I’m Ben, your childhood friend from Pitford. When I saw the listings I just had to get the job of officiating. Remember I promised that one day I would marry you?’

‘Now I’ve kept that promise.’

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Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
1 year ago

I love this story Allan! What an unexpected twist at the end, I never saw that coming! Very nicely done!

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 year ago

The story is so promising and rewarding. And the twist is unexpected. Well written. Keep writing. 

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Allan Neil
1 year ago

You’re welcome, Allan.

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 year ago

Super story, Allan. As already mentioned, I really enjoyed the twist at the end. It’s always fun when something unexpected happens. Nice one!

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
Reply to  Allan Neil
1 year ago

At least you have a positive ‘thing’. I’m just really neurotic about ‘then’, ‘and then’ and ‘but then’, frantically making sure they aren’t sprinkled liberally through my stories! ????????

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
1 year ago

Great twist to your story, Allan and good play on the words, “I’m going to marry you!”

Marianna Pieterse
Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
1 year ago

Allan, it felt like watching a movie scene, reading your story. The twist at the end is brilliant! Well done!

Kayja Daniels
Kayja Daniels(@kayja-daniels)
1 year ago

I love that twist… never seen it coming. I thought Ben was going to run out & object to the wedding. ????

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 year ago

The surprise at the end is hilarious, Allan. Your story builds up towards something that seems very nice, very romantic and very traditional. But then, you have the reader go, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming!” Good work!

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