The Crimson Devil
They come chasing after me like a haunted dream-
the burning house,
the flying birds,
and the blaring alarms-
one after the other in an endless cycle of chaos.
A thick layer of ethanol clings onto my fagged limbs, its poisonous residue blackening my insides and clawing at my beloved memories.
The day the crimson devil stripped me of my childhood haven, the elderly timber and its green meadows, it took my heart with it and has never let it go.
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleEach word matters in this tiny gem. Brief phrases, prose that is almost poetry, set a nightmare scene. Quite an accomplishment for a high school writer.
Wow, this is a powerful story, Kaylee. I love how you’ve formatted it, it makes your story more visual. Very nicely done.
Thank you! I have been experimenting with different syntax.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love the title, the photo and everything about your story Kaylee. Brilliantly done.
Thank you so much!
Wow is right, Kaylee. This story packs quite a punch. Somehow the “flying birds” and the “elderly timber” are especially poignant. You have a great talent. We’re very glad to have you on the Voice Club – a huge welcome to you!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYes, I agree. The phrase “elderly timber” makes me feel very emotional too because I tend to have attachment issues with old things.
Well done, Kaylee. I love it.
Thank you! I’m glad that you liked my story 🙂
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou’re welcome. Keep on writing!
Kaylee, this is such a sad story. The short lines really add to the feeling of dread and fear your protagonist must have felt. Great story.
Thank you. I think that sad stories have their ways of provoking empathy, sympathy, and other emotions from the audience. Many times, they can be more powerful than happy ones.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI so agree with you, Kaylee. I for one am having a hard time thinking of any stories for the “Good News” contest!
Well done, Kaylee. I especially liked your experiments with your sentences.
I like the title.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations on your win, Kaylee. Your story certainly deserved it!
Congratulations on your win, Kaylee. Your story was one of my favourites.
Congratulations, Kaylee.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GooglePowerful story Kaylee, short and poetic. Congratulations.