I’m eight when I first spot an electric blue eye peering at me through a hole in the garden fence.

Nine. I’m sat alone at my school desk when the chair beside me scrapes across the carpet. I look up into familiar blue eyes alight with mischief.

We’re thirteen, sitting shoulder to shoulder, getting scolded for skipping school. A side glance shows her bright blues wide with feigned innocence.

Eighteen, dancing close at our prom, those piercing blues send a jolt straight to my heart.

Twenty-two and she stands before me in her white dress, eyes a searing blue flame.

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Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
1 month ago

A very moving look at little snippets of life, all culminating in a beautiful ending. Nicely done, Emily.

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
1 month ago

Emily, you are very careful to put someone’s history into a mere hundred or less words.

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Sandra James
Sandra James(@sandra-james)
1 month ago

A lovely romance… but, this time I was all prepared for a twist  😆  Tricked again! Seriously, well written and I loved the progression through the years.

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Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
1 month ago

A love story told through time and the changing colour of her eyes, I loved it, Emily!

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 month ago

Hello, Emily. Such a captivating romance story with a beautiful ending and nice progression by changing the color of the eyes. I love it. Well done. 

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Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
1 month ago
Reply to  Emily O'Leary

You are welcome, Emily.

Marianna Pieterse
Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
1 month ago

This was beautiful, Emily! I love how we were given little glimpses of the stages of their lives. Stunning!

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Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
1 month ago

You have given us five fascinating verbal photos of a person, Emily, pointing straight at a deepening relationship with the viewer. A great progression and description.

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Heather C
Heather C(@heather-c)
20 days ago

I love how this story was expertly broken down into snap shots of this couple’s romantic journey. Very unique and piqued my interest right away. The image of the eye peering through the hole in the garden fence was excellent. Great job!

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Most Voted Comments

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8

Bait

It takes a real talent to tell a story in so few words. What was…


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6

Endure and Sing

Inspirational piece. Am glad you picked the rat to be the protagonist in your story,…


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6

Endure and Sing

Such a sweet tale - and with a good moral to the story. I thought…


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5

Endure and Sing

Wow! This is a good story! Really good to read to little kids, the moral…


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4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, it really does add an extra dimension to hear your story read aloud…


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4

Endure and Sing

In my neighboring country Denmark, we have the classical storyteller Hans-Christian Andersen. Your sweet story…


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4

Endure and Sing

A really nice one with a wonderful story line. I can see why this was…


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4

Endure and Sing

A beautiful story! I was reminded of seeing Paul Potts and Susan Boyle on Britain's…


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4

Endure and Sing

Your story inspired me to keep going no matter how discouraging it gets. At times…


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4

Endure and Sing

Thank you so much for the feedback! I pray that the young readers will be…


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4

Endure and Sing

Thank you for taking the time to comment and convey your thoughts on the story.…


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4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, don't we all feel like the rat in your story at times! We…


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4

Vows

I must admit it was the picture of the church, with its grave yard, under…


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3

Between Belonging and Dying

A very powerful story, Daniel. Your writing makes it easy to feel the reality of…


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3

Between Belonging and Dying

Oh my gosh, Daniel. Your story really defines the word superb. You make me experience…


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3

Between Belonging and Dying

A horrendous situation, more so because so many people find themselves going through it. A…


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3

Between Belonging and Dying

What an extremely powerful story Daniel, really well written and with an ending that had…


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3

Between Belonging and Dying

Daniel, this story is one of the best flash fiction stories I've ever read. You…


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3

In Memoriam

It's terrible to lose someone you love and accept that he is not a part…


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The Problem with Women

I think Carrie has said it all. We rest our collective case.  ? 


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