
Whispers
There was a peculiar feeling in the air that evening — a wrongness in the wind. It blew seemingly with no direction, bringing with it the heady scent of flowers mixed with the more sickly scent of overripe fruit. The atmosphere itself felt heavy, cloying, like being swaddled tight but without its comforts.
No, this feeling left Lucille ill at ease, her heart thundering and nerves jittering with anticipation, and she thought back to her late Grandmother’s ramblings.
“Cursed, we are. Our blood is cursed. We women of our line, who hear the whisperings between worlds. You’ll see. When finally I sleep, you at last will wake.”
Lucille scorned herself for a fool, shrugging off the memories. Mad ravings brought on by old age and a rapidly fleeing mind.
Still… the summer solstice was tomorrow, a day for strange happenings, when old doors were flung wide. She’d never believed in fairy tales, but this feeling of misgiving, the sound of hushed whispers from afar, had been creeping up on her for some days.
And so it was with a roll of her eyes, and a swift thought to her Grandmother, that she whispered her wish to the wild, restless wind.
“I wish not to see, not to hear your call. I wish to be apart from the worlds of Other.”
~
Fleur was distracted. That is to say, that for an eight-year-old who normally never stopped talking and moving, she was unusually quiet and still. Absent.
“Do you hear that, maman?”
Lucille glanced over as her daughter paused her eating, fork still raised, and cocked her head to one side. Fine blonde brows scrunched together over glazed brown eyes.
“Hear what, bébé?”
“The whispers.”
Lucille froze, felt herself blanche and her throat constrict. Her breathing came fast, the hairs on her arms rising.
Truthfully, she could not hear the whispers. Had not, in fact, felt even the slightest stirring of anything amiss since she made that childish wish yesterday.
Looking at her child now though, lost in words that Lucille would no longer hear…
She felt truly afraid.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleEmily, you have delivered a great build up of tension and atmosphere in this chilling tale.
Thank you, Margarida!
Emily, this is one of your best stories ever. I was enthralled from beginning to end. You’ve built the suspense masterfully and the ending is brilliant. It’s amazing you can write like this while raising little ones. We all know motherhood is a full-time job!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThat’s such high praise, thank you so much Fuji!
Honestly I’m just about getting into my writing again — the last few months I’ve really struggled with writers block, so it means the world that you enjoyed it so!
Voice.club — that last line shouldn’t be there. It was supposed to end with the line ‘She felt truly afraid.’ I think there must have been a mix up somewhere!
Fabulously eerie story, Emily. It makes the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’ particularly pertinent. Why would you ever wish something you dreaded away, only for it to land on your child. Fantastic writing.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you! It definitely took on a life of its own, this one!
Well, you’ve certainly raised the bar with this story, Emily! I agree with Fuji, it is one of your best and they are all amazing! What a wonderful talent you have. I am in awe!
Thank you so much Linda, your words mean the world to me ? I just had a very vague idea with this one, and it took over as I wrote! I think I’d quite like to extend it into a longer piece at some point!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou really should, Emily, it’s just too good not to. ❤
Hi Emily – I am glad to return to the Voice Club after lately being pulled away by my day job! Great story, and I really enjoyed the unique imagery such as “a wrongness in the wind”, very nice, and made the tale come alive ?
Hi Chris — welcome back!!
Thank you so much, I’m glad that you enjoyed it!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYeah! I indeed agree with Carrie. This is indeed an eerie story. It’s like watching a thriller. I love the story build-up. This is indeed a good one, Emily.
Thank you Thompson, I really appreciate your kind words!
Hello, Emily. I agree with Fuji. One of your best stories and work from a very talented writer like you. Awesome!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleOh you’re too kind, thank you so much Lotchie!
You’re always welcome, Emily.
Emily, your story is one of those that actually left me speechless. It was so captivating and I loved the terrifying ending ? I’m afraid that whatever comment I leave, wouldn’t accurately describe how well I thought you have written this. For lack of a better word, this was outstanding!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much, Marianna! I’m so glad that you enjoyed it!
You’re all gonna make me tear up, I feel like I needed this lately! I do love the moral support in this little community ❤
Emily, I agree with you there, I also appreciate the support on this group ?
That opening paragraph…wow. Exceptional. You had me hooked. You have quite a talent. I really enjoyed this short story!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so very much, Heather ❤
AH this was brilliant! Personally I love when an author shows and doesn’t tell. You showed me your story and made me feel your story trusting me in the process and not hand-feeding me the plot and the thoughts behind it. I thus found it refreshing and respectful to me, as a reader. Thank you for it!
Thank you, Lydia, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis is definitely one of my favourites. There is a great balance of narrative and dialogue and, as many others have already said, the buildup of tension is superb. I’d also love to read more in an extended version should you feel the urge.
Such kind words Preston, thank you so much and I’m glad to hear you enjoyed it so! I like an atmospheric fairy story, so it’s definitely one I’ll enjoy writing more for!
Emily, you built up a wonderful amount of suspense in your story that I really enjoyed reading! Great work!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much, Bella!
Love this story, Emily. The imagery you managed to pack in few words is impressive. I love a good dark, psychological tale. This fit the bill! Great work.
Thank you very much, Melissa, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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