The boat pulls over and upward onto the rocky shore and is finally still after the hours and days we spent swaying out at sea. I let Murphy, my guide, get out of the boat first before I hop out and we pull the boat completely onto shore. The island of Tum-way-Bouy looks about as interesting as pigeons in the city, filled with rocks and large trees and bushes so thick it is hard to imagine anything is beyond them.

“This the right place?” I ask. Murphy looks my way and smiles.

“Doesn’t look like much. It’s right over here.” He points off to the right where there is a thick gathering of bushes. He takes his large knife out of its sheath and heads over to the bushes and starts to hack away and make his way through. After about twenty minutes or so he blows his whistle, his signal for me to join him. I make my way through the path he has made and when I catch up to him, there it is, the Gudungan River, the river of wishes. It is so beautiful. I can see through the water straight through to the bottom where mounds of gold and silver coins cover its floor. Murphy takes a gold coin from his pocket and hands it to me. I take it and close my eyes.

“I wish for Abigail to be healed.” I say, throwing the coin. It falls to the bottom of the river, joining the rest of the coins.

“You feel alright?” Murphy asks. I nod my head yes so we start making our way back through the path. I wobble as I start to feel weak. Murphy supports me and we make it out of the path but I collapse there. Suddenly my body becomes emaciated. It becomes hard to breathe and I feel heavy inside, as tumors press against my organs. Murphy rocks me back and forth.

“Don’t let her know,” I say.

“I will only tell her you love her,” he says and it is the last thing I hear.

    5 1 vote
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    1 year ago

    A story that reveals the consequences of love and the price of a wish. Wonderful description, excellent plot development and characterization. Good pacing and balance – all the signs of a fine writer!

    Margarida Brei
    Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
    1 year ago

    April, you have well explored the idea of a life saved for a life sacrificed. Chilling!

    Sandra James
    Sandra James(@sandra-james)
    1 year ago

    Oh April, I didn’t expect that ending but it is a beautiful story of sacrifice and great love. Very well done  ? 

    Sophie Toovey
    Sophie Toovey(@sophie-toovey)
    Reply to  Sandra James
    1 year ago

    Completely agree; a powerful story with an unexpected twist. Well done!

    Carrie OLeary
    Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
    1 year ago

    Welcome to, April. This is a powerful story and you had me gripped from the first, right through to the unexpected ending. Very nicely done!

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    1 year ago

    The ultimate sacrifice, April, and so beautifully written. Welcome to Voice Club, I look forward to reading more from you.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    1 year ago

    Hello, April. Welcome to voice club. Your story is so touching. That’s what true love can do, willing to do everything and sacrifice. Brilliantly done, April. 

    Heather Chrzanowski
    Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
    1 year ago

    Hi April! I very much enjoyed reading this piece of writing. I like how you begin the story with the boat pulling onto shore. I felt like I was right in the action and heart of the tale immediately. You have a nice way with words. Can’t wait to read more of your work!

    Christer Norrlof
    Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
    1 year ago

    A very sensitive and visual writing, April. Both dialogue and descriptions are very well made.

    Bella Minyo
    Bella Minyo(@bella-minyo)
    1 year ago

    Excellent story on how wishes can come at a cost; in this case, it would be a life for a life. Truly a delight to read your writing, April!

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations on your win, April!

    Julie Harris
    Julie Harris(@julie-harris)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations, April, on a very deserving win. This story is powerful and unforgettable and quite an achievement for your first story on Welcome to the club! I hope to read more stories from you.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    1 year ago

    Congratulations on a well deserved win, April.

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