When I met Duncan Fraser, I knew I would do anything he asked, even if it was wrong…even if it was reprehensible.

His presence left me dazed and dim, like an opioid addict bobbing in and out of a fuzzy, murky consciousness. Even the sound of his voice dulled my will. At Duncan’s hand, I was a witless marionette hating yet craving the masterful pull of his strings.

Preceding a sickening swoon, I recall a pair of blue eyes, glacial and raw as he pulled his face away from my neck, pointy alabaster fangs dripping with blood.

 

0 0 votes
Post Rating
10 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
22 days ago

Heather, you have written a powerful chilling micro fiction. Particularly enjoyed your strong
imagery in ‘like an opioid addict.” You painted Duncan Fraser so spooky!

Carrie OLeary
Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
22 days ago

A very gripping tale, Heather. You’ve portrayed well the power that your vampire has over his victims. Looking at your accompanying picture, I wouldn’t fancy meeting him down a dark alley. Good job!

(Ads by Google)
Emily O'Leary
Emily O'Leary(@emily-oleary)
21 days ago

Oh I love it Heather! I loved that second paragraph, I can absolutely imagine your MC just vacantly going about doing exactly what Duncan has ordered!

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
20 days ago

I can imagine a woman feeling like that about a man, Heather, luckily most of them don’t bite! What an amazing choice and use of 100 words you have given us, I am blown away!

(Ads by Google)
Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
20 days ago

Hello, Heather. I definitely love this spooky tale in the theme “Blue Eyes” – so scary. Well done.

(Ads by Google)
Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
18 days ago
Reply to  Heather C

You’re welcome, Heather. You can do it. You’re writing skills are already good. Keep writing.

Become a PatronHelp support our family-friendly mission

Most Voted Comments

Avatar
8

Bait

It takes a real talent to tell a story in so few words. What was…


Avatar
6

Endure and Sing

Inspirational piece. Am glad you picked the rat to be the protagonist in your story,…


Avatar
6

Endure and Sing

Such a sweet tale - and with a good moral to the story. I thought…


Avatar
5

Endure and Sing

Wow! This is a good story! Really good to read to little kids, the moral…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, it really does add an extra dimension to hear your story read aloud…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

In my neighboring country Denmark, we have the classical storyteller Hans-Christian Andersen. Your sweet story…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

A really nice one with a wonderful story line. I can see why this was…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

A beautiful story! I was reminded of seeing Paul Potts and Susan Boyle on Britain's…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Your story inspired me to keep going no matter how discouraging it gets. At times…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Thank you so much for the feedback! I pray that the young readers will be…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Thank you for taking the time to comment and convey your thoughts on the story.…


Avatar
4

Endure and Sing

Hi Katy, don't we all feel like the rat in your story at times! We…


Avatar
4

Vows

I must admit it was the picture of the church, with its grave yard, under…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

A very powerful story, Daniel. Your writing makes it easy to feel the reality of…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

Oh my gosh, Daniel. Your story really defines the word superb. You make me experience…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

A horrendous situation, more so because so many people find themselves going through it. A…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

What an extremely powerful story Daniel, really well written and with an ending that had…


Avatar
3

Between Belonging and Dying

Daniel, this story is one of the best flash fiction stories I've ever read. You…


Avatar
3

In Memoriam

It's terrible to lose someone you love and accept that he is not a part…


Avatar
3

The Problem with Women

I think Carrie has said it all. We rest our collective case.  ? 


Recent Comments

10
0
Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
()
x
Scroll to Top

Sharing a Post

Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!