Shelter
Another car whizzes by, tail-lights fade to blackness. It’s almost midnight.
Sixty miles from anywhere – why do I keep doing this? The shelter wasn’t that bad.
Unroll my sleeping bag and crawl in. A mile away some farm-dog barks like mad. I close my eyes and pray no-one skids off the highway.
Sunrise, everything’s soaked with dew, and the ditch reeks of garbage. I collect my stuff and stick out my thumb. A car stops, and I sprint to an open window.
“Hop in, chief.” He looks at me with lizard eyes, but I get in anyway.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHere’s a note to accompany the audio recording of Shelter: Shelter was inspired by a real incident that occurred when I was about 16 years old during the summer between my Grades 11 and 12 at High School. It was a confusing and lonely time as I tried to make sense of raging hormones, broken family at home and no sense of purpose or future goal. Then I somehow placed myself in the… Read more »
What a story, Preston! Chilling that things might have turned out so differently. It’s these moments in our lives, and I’ve had some myself, that make us what we are today, stronger and, as you say, wiser. I really enjoyed the audio version of ‘Shelter’, it was good to put a voice to the author! Congratulations on winning the public vote, well deserved.
Thanks so much Linda for your insight and kind comments. I feel we all have interesting stories to share, and for many of us it’s a form of therapy to recount these tales after enough time has passed. I can’t tell you how much I’m enjoying the positive environment here amidst so many talented writers like yourself.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleHop in Chief- what a great line. Runs so counter to the mood, and yet fits right in on that fine line that inhabits all is well and yet there could be something awful ahead.
Thanks Jan… I changed that line a few times until it felt right.
No, you should not hitch hike and definitely not enter a car driven by a creep with lizard eyes. Could you be encouraged to write the next story line, please?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYes, this character appears to be plagued by some poor decision-making. In his defence, hitch-hiking was as common as cycling during the time of this incident. Regarding the next line, as I’ve left it open-ended, perhaps you would venture a guess?
Yes. I agree with Margarida. You shouldn’t hitch-hike a car driven by a creep with snake eyes. Don’t even give it a second thought.
…I collect my stuff, call an Uber and wait. Eventually he arrives: “Hop in, chief.” He looks at me with lizard eyes, but I get in anyway.
I don’t know. Somehow it doesn’t have the same impact. ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThat last line made me shiver, Preston! I can only imagine how it feels to be homeless and the risks that come with it. Powerful writing.
Thanks so much Linda. It’s heartbreaking to see so many people of all ages struggling to survive in virtually every major city (at least in N. America).
Completely agree! The lizard eyes detail is a great choice. Conveys so much.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Sophie. I’m glad it creeped everyone out ?
Hello, Preston. That man with lizard eyes spook me up. I was shivering. I wish your protagonist didn’t get in.
An ending that leaves the reader gagging for more. Part II please, Preston!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Allan. Mission accomplished! ?
It’s saddening, when you realise just what sort of conditions people are willing to endure instead of the “safety” of a shelter. It says an awful lot that your protagonist would sooner keep traipsing on!
Powerful piece, Preston.
Thanks so much Emily. I’ve developed quite a bit of empathy over the years for those less fortunate.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations to a well crafted story, Preston! The last line, although evoking some negative reactions, is an important part in the context. It goes perfectly well with the details about sleeping in a ditch and waking up to the morning with moisture and foul smells. It’s all very visual and powerful. This is about darkness, loneliness and uncertainty. Well done!
Thanks Christer! You’ve captured the intentions and meanings “between the lines” very well and I couldn’t ask for more.
Preston, this was a well written story that vividly described the risks and uncertainty that homeless people face. That last line was very creepy, but a great finish to the story.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks again Marianna! The last line creeped me out even as I wrote it. ?
Congratulations, Preston.
Thanks Lotchie!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou’re welcome.