Under a Midnight Moon
“Some see me here, some over there. Some see me everywhere.” The gaunt-faced man perched on the rooftop watching his quarry staggering down the street.
He dropped silently to a balcony. “Some see me not at all,” he whispered, leaping onto the man’s shoulders, “Because I like to make ’em fall.” He picked the man’s pockets, leapt back up to the balcony and sprung from rooftop to rooftop.
The bells of St Mary’s, Whitechapel chimed midnight. He paused and sniffed an iron-tinged scent in the air.
“Spring-heeled Jack ain’t the worst monster prowling tonight,” he muttered, fading into the shadows.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis is some information about Spring-heeled Jack on Wikipedia if anyone is interested in reading more about this bit of folklore from Victorian England.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spring-heeled_Jack
What a character is this Jack! Highly enjoyable reading, with the shivery reference to another Jack to round off the sense of foreboding and spookiness. Our Jack’s rhyming couplets do seem to have a double reference to himself and the moon, giving an even more interesting aspect to the story.
Thank you so much. I really enjoyed writing this story, so I’m glad you liked it too.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI absolutely love this! Very creepy with his sing-song voice. This is written so well, it flows perfectly, well done!
Thank you, Emily, so much. Glad you liked it 🙂
Hello, Carrie. I like it. Especially this line, “Some see me here, some over there. Some see me everywhere.”- it reflects the beauty and the power of the moon. The creepy thing makes your story more beautiful. It is great and well-written. Well done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Lotchie. I’m glad you enjoyed Jack’s little rhyme that he sings to himself. People think they see him in one place, then he’ll turn up, quite unexpectedly in quite another place. He’s as slippery as an eel ?
You’re welcome, Carrie.
Hi Voice-team. Just wondered if there is any reason why my story is classed as uncategorised, whereas as all the other stories in the competition are classed as fiction. I would imagine it’s just an oversight, but thought I’d mention it just in case it causes it to disappear into a black hole when the official voting starts. Cheers, C
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks for your sharp eyes, Carrie. It’s fixed now.
A truly creepy character in the way he talks, moves and acts. Is he based on a real character? Perhaps Jack the Ripper? A disturbing read, Carrie.
Thanks for commenting, Margarida. I have pinned a Wikipedia link about Spring-heeled Jack. Whether the folklore was based on one or more people will never be known, I always imagine him dressing above his station, wearing a top hat, tilted to a jaunty angle, an ill-fitting suit, er, borrowed from a victim and with an outlandish, over the top personality. When he detects that iron-tinged scent in the air and comments about… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWhat a great creepy character you’ve created Carrie. The rhyming speech is especially effective, and I love the ending where he fades into the shadows. Well done!
Thanks, Preston. I can’t claim to have created him, there were so many stories about him in the Penny Dreadfuls in the late nineteenth and early 20th century. I’ve just tried to give him some unique qualities of my own. See my pinned comment for more information if you’re interested
I love this story, Carrie. It’s like watching a superhero movie.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI think it would be more of an antihero movie, Thompson. I can’t see Spring-heeled Jack doing anything to help anyone unless it was accidental. I think if I’d been in his place, I’d have faded into the shadows too. I wouldn’t have liked to have a face-to-face meeting with Jack the Ripper either!
I’ve never heard of this character before, Carrie and, after reading the Wikipedia link, I wonder why that is. The story is incredible. I too imagine him dressed as a gentleman with amazing agility! We know so much more about Jack the Ripper, I guess because of the murders. Thank you for introducing me to Spring-heeled Jack. I love how you have captured him perfectly in your story and the sing-song voice… Read more »
Thank you, Linda, for your wonderful comment. It’s always gratifying, as an author, to be able to introduce your audience to something new. I think he’s one of those characters that you know is bad, but you can’t help liking them either ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI am curious Carrie-how did you write on the image? Do you have a special app? Also where do you find your free images?
Hi, Margarida. I use an app called Bazaart for manipulating and adding text to my images. I sometimes use an app called Brushstroke too which give photos more of a painting effect. I use either Pexels or Unsplash for my free images, sometimes trawling through for hours to find the right one. I also have a subscription to iStock photo, so if I can’t find the right image, like with my Whizzbang… Read more »
Creepy stuff, Creepy ?
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you, Steven. I have already extended this story a little to include a bit more about the other Jack who is hinted at towards the end!