She laughed as she grabbed his hand, dragging him further into the forest. Dry leaves crunched as they ran together, the wind flying through her auburn hair. He smiled to himself, glad he had finally asked her out. He tripped and fell, pulling her down with him. She giggled and lay on the ground, swishing her arms and trying to make snow angels in the leaves… 

The leaves fell as she tugged on his arm, dragging him along the now familiar path through the forest. Every autumn they came. Without fail. Leaves were tangled in her hair, but she didn’t seem to notice as she turned briefly, grinning at him, her eyes full of love. He reached into his pocket, reassuring himself that the ring was still there. Perfect. Right beside his angel coin, which he rubbed for luck. He dropped to one knee, calling her name…

She tugged on his arm as they walked slowly through the woods. The leaves split and crumbled as he carefully made his way over them. Her auburn hair fluttered in the breeze, getting caught in twigs and she frowned in concentration as she untangled them. He collapsed to the ground, opening the delicate box. His daughter knelt beside him, and carefully, they spread the ashes across the fragile leaves. He heard her laugh echoing through the forest and he smiled. A real angel now.

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Voice-Team
Voice-Team(@voice-team)
Admin
4 months ago

Beautiful in its simplicity, the similarities between the three paragraphs lull the reader into a complacency which is then upturned.  What could have been a sad moment was turned into an encouraging ending.

Bella Minyo
Bella Minyo(@bella-minyo)
4 months ago

Ava, the progression in your story is lovely, from the first date to a life together to the end of the line for their physical love. I truly enjoyed reading your story’s take on the prompt.

Thompson Emate
Thompson Emate(@thompson-emate)
4 months ago

This is a lovely story, Aya. I love the flow and the break into different timelines. Well done.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
4 months ago

Hello, Ava. I also love the progression of your story from dating until death separating them together physically. I love this sweet love story. Well done. 

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Ava R
4 months ago

You’re always welcome, Ava R.

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
4 months ago

Sad sweet story, Ava. I liked the unexpected transition from fiancee to daughter.

Sandra James
Sandra James(@sandra-james)
4 months ago

I didn’t see that ending coming, Ava! But it is a beautiful story. Sadly, death happens but we all wish for special signs and they will find them there every autumn. Heartwarming  ? 

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
4 months ago

Such a poignant story, Ava. That final paragraph… a surprise reveal. Heartwarming and beautifully written.

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
4 months ago

A huge congratulations, Ava.

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