Smile Even Though It’s Breaking
How does that song go? Smile though your heart is aching? My heart aches all the time. When I was a child I longed to be a professional figure skater. Syncope took away that dream.
They fitted an ICD. I can’t say it hasn’t been effective; I’ve lost count of how many times it’s restarted my heart.
Smile what’s the use of crying? I’ve had cardiomyopathy since childhood, now I need a heart transplant. How can I smile when, for me to live, another has to die? Voice shaking with unshed tears, I answer the call that seals our fate.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis is such a sad story, Carrie, although it includes a hope of a heart transplant and a smile. To live with the knowledge that one’s heart might give in any day must be very scary. You illustrated that feeling in a great way!
You might have seen my input to the comment you wrote to Allan. This is weird! Same association for all three of us. Maybe more will follow?
Thanks for commenting, Christer. The story is very loosely based on an experience I had when I was a newly qualified nurse. I worked on a coronary care ward and was asked to tell a patient they were to be transferred up to Freeman Road Hospital for transplant. I’d anticipated the patient would be relieved and happy that their transplant was going to happen so they had the chance of a normal… Read more »
Thank you so much for this added information, Carrie. I can now easier visualize the situation. The reaction you describe is surprising, coming from a person who has been waiting for years to get a healthy heart. It must have been difficult for you, as a young and inexperienced nurse, to find a way to support the patient. What a nice coincidence that you heard that song in the car afterwards! And… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleSuch a moving story, Carrie. A new life for someone but life ends for another. Reading your comment to Christer, I can understand how your patient’s words would have affected you. As Christer comments, your words illustrate perfectly the dilemma being faced. Very sensitively done.
Thanks Linda. Yes, there are a few patients who really stick in my mind. I suppose they shaped me into the nurse I eventually became, but the one that inspired this story was definitely one of the most memorable. I hope the patient lived a long and happy life, but that’s something I shall never know.
Bitter-sweet, Carrie. I remember once, following the aftermath of a hideous road crash where the 21-year-old victim had a donor card and her parents, although distraught at their loss told me they took heart (sic) from the fact that a vital part of their little girl would live on, and at the same time might prevent some unknown parents from going through what they were experiencing. Your tale stirs up the same… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks Allan, I’ve never experienced it from the other side. I worked mainly with elderly patients during my career and few of them carried donor cards. As you say, it is a bittersweet situation for either side
Hello, Carrie. Your story is short, but honestly, it made me cry. Those words below resonated with me so much: “How can I smile when, for me to live, another has to die? Voice shaking with unshed tears, I answer the call that seals our fate.” Well done.
Thank you for commenting, Lotchie. I’m glad the words resonated with you, although sad that I’m made you cry!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou’re welcome, Carrie.
This is a moving story, Carrie. What a situation to be in! I almost have anxiety reading the last line; there would be such guilt in surviving at the cost of another’s life. Great work!
Thank you, Melissa. Hope you are keeping ok 🙂
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleBeautiful. ?
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be in that situation.