It was the night before Halloween and she awoke with a choked gasp, the heaviness of the night clawing at her throat. Rushing to the window, she threw it open, the breeze stroking her sweaty face. Glancing back, she saw the clock. 11:59. Again. Every night for the past month she had awoken from the exact same dream, that a creature with silver eyes was stalking her. Every night, it woke her up at exactly 11:59. As the clock struck midnight, she sighed and closed the window, returning to her bed. Too tired to do anything but snuggle back under her sheets, she never noticed the glowing silver eyes peering down at her from above.

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4 months ago

In under ten lines, the writer has created an atmosphere of fear in a simple act (watching the time change from bed) to which all readers can relate. Succinct and enjoyable.

4 months ago

Wow, Ava. A short short story that packs a punch! Who needs 350 words, anyway?

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
4 months ago

Ava, in only five lines you have conveyed the fear of a girl always strangely waking up at an odd time. I could taste her anxiety in your telling imagery.
Now, I know to look both under the bed and at the ceiling for “bogeymen!” Chilling!

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
4 months ago

I am shaking with fear as I look around and also to the ceiling. A powerful short story. Well done, Ava. 

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Lotchie Carmelo
3 months ago

Congratulations, Ava.

Heather Chrzanowski
Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
4 months ago

There is nothing more creepy than something staring at you from the ceiling above! Shivers!! Ava, what a great story!

4 months ago

Congratulations, Ava. Your story really was impressive, using a small word count to the maximum effect. I’m looking forward to more stories from you!

Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
4 months ago

Congratulations, Ava! A perfectly scary story!

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