It was the night before Halloween and she awoke with a choked gasp, the heaviness of the night clawing at her throat. Rushing to the window, she threw it open, the breeze stroking her sweaty face. Glancing back, she saw the clock. 11:59. Again. Every night for the past month she had awoken from the exact same dream, that a creature with silver eyes was stalking her. Every night, it woke her up at exactly 11:59. As the clock struck midnight, she sighed and closed the window, returning to her bed. Too tired to do anything but snuggle back under her sheets, she never noticed the glowing silver eyes peering down at her from above.

    0 0 votes
    Post Rating
    8 Comments
    Oldest
    Newest Most Voted
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Voice-Team
    Voice-Team(@voice-team)
    Admin
    10 months ago

    In under ten lines, the writer has created an atmosphere of fear in a simple act (watching the time change from bed) to which all readers can relate. Succinct and enjoyable.

    Fuji
    Fuji(@fuji)
    10 months ago

    Wow, Ava. A short short story that packs a punch! Who needs 350 words, anyway?

    Margarida Brei
    Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
    10 months ago

    Ava, in only five lines you have conveyed the fear of a girl always strangely waking up at an odd time. I could taste her anxiety in your telling imagery.
    Now, I know to look both under the bed and at the ceiling for “bogeymen!” Chilling!

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    10 months ago

    I am shaking with fear as I look around and also to the ceiling. A powerful short story. Well done, Ava. 

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    Reply to  Lotchie Carmelo
    9 months ago

    Congratulations, Ava.

    Heather Chrzanowski
    Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
    10 months ago

    There is nothing more creepy than something staring at you from the ceiling above! Shivers!! Ava, what a great story!

    Fuji
    Fuji(@fuji)
    10 months ago

    Congratulations, Ava. Your story really was impressive, using a small word count to the maximum effect. I’m looking forward to more stories from you!

    Melissa Taggart
    Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
    10 months ago

    Congratulations, Ava! A perfectly scary story!

    Recent Comments

    8
    0
    Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
    ()
    x
    Scroll to Top

    Sharing a Post

    Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

    Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!