John always brought extra buckets on our river trips. Never mind the well, he always insisted on bringing back what he called God’s liquid vision

As the temperature began to cool, our yearning for visiting the now ice-platted stream dampened, but John still insisted on going. In some ways, I couldn’t blame him. The auburn light was perfect, tackling the slushy, crystalline frost with more luminosity than the finest old-world silverware. And there you were, faced with the sight of you, parted on a whited riverbank, and those eyes – a true looking-glass. 

Once Sunday Service came around, the Village did as we always did, but the damp sight of John’s wet, brown overcoat sent the congregation into gossip. 

“How could his mother let him out in such a thing?”

“That boy will surely get sick, how utterly irresponsible!”

“I always knew he was a strange one, too unfortunate of a life with that mother…” 

Numb to the lingering eyes and quick lips, John sat there. Slightly shivering, but always his intent, slightly serious self. It wasn’t until the parish began our departure, that he collapsed. Out like a heavy stone on a guilty witch, his skin twinkled ice blue. 

“I knew this would happen!”

“Someone get him some blankets before the cold sets in!” 

“We ought to know better here!  Children do not just end up dripping wet and victims of exhaustion…” 

I hoped he would get better, but for all I knew he might be truly frozen. Maybe I should have done something, but what would everyone else think? I – Abigal Binx – lend aid to the peculiar, sopping boy? I couldn’t dare think of the accusations then: 

“A strange girl she is too…”

“We best investigate this matter more seriously.”

A crowd had gathered in the morrow. On the river trail, they went, murmuring about the troubled John boy and his imprudent mother. I walked with them – worried but reserved.  

A few gasps were unleashed and crosses signed.

There he was, frozen under the ice, enveloped in backscattered self-portraits. His eyes, like mine, still looking at his crystal-clear self.

0 0 votes
Post Rating
Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
10 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Fuji
Fuji(@fuji)
28 days ago

Hello Robert, and welcome to Voice Club. Between your picture and the ending of your story, you really have me shivering and shaking. What a great first story! I hope to read more from you.

Heather Chrzanowski
Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
28 days ago

Hello Robert! I really enjoyed reading this story. You have incorporated such beautiful imagery. “Out like a heavy stone on a guilty witch…” I loved this line. It is clear you are a great writer! Very nice portrayal of people’s reactions to anyone different. A chilling story in a chilling setting. Looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
28 days ago

Welcome to Voice.Club Robert. What a powerful, moving and tragic story. Loved your descriptive imagery. I loathed the gossipy, prejudiced church goers! They were too quick to condemn but slow to act!

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Preston Randall
Preston Randall(@preston-randall)
27 days ago

I really enjoyed this story, Robert. I thought your choice of words was amazing in setting a tone appropriate to the setting. I have one question from the second paragraph – “… and there you were…” – not sure who the “you” is in this line. Are you able to clarify without giving anything away to those reading this post?

Preston Randall
Preston Randall(@preston-randall)
Reply to  Robert T
27 days ago

Thanks Robert! You definitely created an interesting, thought-provoking mystery. Well done.

Comments without a personalized avatar will not be published.
Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
18 days ago

I really like your powerful first story, Robert T. Well done.

Welcome to Voice club. I am looking forward to reading more stories from you.

Recent Comments

10
0
Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
()
x
Scroll to Top

Sharing a Post

Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!