Melissa’s heart raced so loudly that it pitter-pattered in her eardrums. She felt the softness of her slippers caress her toes as she tiptoed downstairs. She wasn’t supposed to be down at this time; her mother would give her a good lecture if she were caught in her soft nightclothes at the time that the stars brimmed the sky. The floorboards liked to creak at her worst moments as she stepped down. She hunched her shoulders, quickly checking around her as if she had guiltily stolen a sparkly present under the Christmas tree.

As she reached the tree, nearly skipping in excitement, she saw her flushed, round face in the golden baubles. Then she dropped her round eyes to what glimmered in the corner of her eye. Underneath the bristly tree, there were presents, wrapped in green, red and white. Some had silky bows attached to the top and others had silvery ferns that reminded her of expensive jewelry.

She gasped, placing her hands to her mouth to stifle the noise. Before she crouched down to inspect what would be inside the presents, a golden, warm light filled the room. Bashfully, Melissa turned around.

Her mother stood by the door frame with an anticipatory grin and a plate filled with mince pies.

“I knew you’d be down here,” her mother said, flashing a dimple. “Come sit, I suppose you can stay up later for tonight.”

However, Melissa’s tongue swished around her mouth at the alluring scent of the festive puddings sitting on the plate. Before she could voice her desires, her mother handed her a mince pie.

“Just for Christmas,” her mother had whispered, adjusting herself to the cushions of the sofa. At that moment, while Melissa gobbled her mince pie, she realized how blessed she was to have a mother like hers.

0 0 votes
Post Rating
5 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
5 months ago

Welcome to Voice.club, Katie! I like your Christmas story. It’s well written and makes it easy for the reader to put himself in Melissa’s shoes and feel her excitement and curiosity when she sees the Christmas presents under the tree. In the beginning, I especially liked the detail about how Melissa “felt the softness of her slippers caress her toes.” Great writing!

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
5 months ago

Welcome to Voice.Club Katie. It is good to have so many new writers! I liked how you cleverly spun out the protagonist’s anticipation of visiting the Christmas presents in a forbidden way. Charming how her mother anticipated her daughter and brought a yummy treat. Being a British Expat in Texas, USA, I do miss the ease of shopping and of course eating these delicious Christmas mince pies. Well done! Please keep on… Read more »

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
4 months ago

Welcome to Voice club, Katie. Sorry for the late feedback. But I want you to know that your story is worth reading even when the Christmas season is over. It is a very sweet and lovely tale. Well done. Keep on writing. 

Recent Comments

5
0
Selected Authors may submit comments (5 Credits)x
()
x
Scroll to Top

Sharing a Post

Why do my friends need to SignIn to read the post I shared?

Actually, this is a voting security feature. During public voting, only club members can read posts submitted for that contest. Since anyone reading the story is able to vote (click the Like button), we reserve these capabilities to members who SignIn. Before we implemented this security feature, people were voting multiple times and making the public voting process unfair and out of balance. To fix this, our staff finally decided to allow only members who SignIn to read the stories. Membership is free and easy, and ensures our club is safe, secure, and family-friendly!