“You want to act like a monster, you can go and live amongst them.” Michael’s voice was icy, his tone angry—monstrous even—nothing like the caring, benevolent angel I’d known.

I was shoved viciously to my knees. My hands were bound tightly behind my back and Michael pinned them to the floor with his foot as he tore open my shirt to expose my back.

“You don’t have to do this,” I whimpered.

Another angel pushed my head to my knees, arching my spine unnaturally. I saw the glint of the seraph blade as it was handed to Michael, still dripping with the blood of his previous victim. Michael plunged the dagger in and sawed at the bone. My throat burned from screaming. I wept as bloodied feathers floated to the floor like petals from a withered rose.

I passed out before the end—before I was cast from Heaven. I awoke as I landed, my bones shattering against the rocks of a nightmare landscape where fire spewed from pits around my broken body.

I lay there until he found me—he who had led the uprising against God. He squatted beside me, sweeping a gentle hand across my brow, an unexpected gesture. “Ah, Belial,” he sighed, “What have they done to you? Butchered you like a worthless hog!”

Tears streamed down my face at his touch.

“You have two choices. Serve at my side, or burn in eternal damnation until the end of days.”

Not much of a choice! “Of course, I will serve you,” I grated out in a voice barely recognisable as my own. 

Pain lanced through me once more as my transformation began. I writhed, screaming in agony as my broken bones and shredded skin knitted back together. Fire burned in my shoulders as new wings burst forth, wrapping bat-like around my naked torso. Gone were my downy feathers. These wings were membranous, each digit talon-tipped and lethal. I stretched them and rose with a single swoop.

I caught my reflection in his eyes. My eyes blazed, my anger igniting with a thirst for revenge.

    5 1 vote
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    6 months ago

    Horror and pity characterize this transformation. A new take on a familiar story, powerfully written. 

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    6 months ago

    Wow, Carrie, a story of fire and brimstone at its best! The pain and suffering of the fallen angel was palpable and that last line so satisfying. A wonderful descriptive piece of writing.

    Margarida Brei
    Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
    6 months ago

    Oh, Carrie- what do you eat for breakfast?
    A superb retelling of Lucifer’s fall from grace. Your story is so full of drama, chaos, brutality that it is a horrific tale.
    I particularly like the simile, “ feathers floated to the floor like petals from a withered rose.”
    Well done!

    Marianna Pieterse
    Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
    6 months ago

    Your story is full of tension, and your descriptive depiction of the conflict between what the fallen angel was and what he had become is memorable.

    allinonefitness steven jenkins
    allinonefitness steven jenkins(@allinonefitness-steven-jenkins)
    6 months ago

    Another wonderful story. Well done, Carrie  ? 

    Christer Norrlof
    Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
    6 months ago

    What a colorful, powerful and dramatic tale of the fall of the angels, Carrie! Your story is full of realistic details that make the read very intense and entertaining. Great job!

    Heather Chrzanowski
    Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
    6 months ago

    “Fire burned in my shoulders as new wings burst forth, wrapping bat-like around my naked torso.” Wow. I don’t think I will ever forget this line! Amazing writing as always Carrie!

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    6 months ago

    Hello, Carrie. This is one of your finest and greatest pieces. Wonderful work. Well done.

    Last edited 6 months ago by Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    Reply to  Carrie OLeary
    5 months ago

    You’re always welcome and a huge congratulations. Cheers!

    Linda Rock
    Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
    6 months ago

    Congratulations, Carrie! I loved this story.

    Melissa Taggart
    Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
    6 months ago

    Such a fan of your writing style, Carrie! Congratulations on your win!

    Thompson Emate
    Thompson Emate(@thompson-emate)
    6 months ago

    Wow!, Carrie, I don’t know what else to say after reading all the comments on this page. I know you’re good at writing horror-filled stories. This is an attestation. Congratulations.

    Margarida Brei
    Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
    5 months ago

    Carrie, congratulations on your double win and on such powerful writing!

    Kelly Maze
    Kelly Maze(@kelly-maze)
    5 months ago

    I enjoyed the intensity you brought forth! I couldn’t stop reading! Congratulations!

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