“You want to act like a monster, you can go and live amongst them.” Michael’s voice was icy, his tone angry—monstrous even—nothing like the caring, benevolent angel I’d known.

I was shoved viciously to my knees. My hands were bound tightly behind my back and Michael pinned them to the floor with his foot as he tore open my shirt to expose my back.

“You don’t have to do this,” I whimpered.

Another angel pushed my head to my knees, arching my spine unnaturally. I saw the glint of the seraph blade as it was handed to Michael, still dripping with the blood of his previous victim. Michael plunged the dagger in and sawed at the bone. My throat burned from screaming. I wept as bloodied feathers floated to the floor like petals from a withered rose.

I passed out before the end—before I was cast from Heaven. I awoke as I landed, my bones shattering against the rocks of a nightmare landscape where fire spewed from pits around my broken body.

I lay there until he found me—he who had led the uprising against God. He squatted beside me, sweeping a gentle hand across my brow, an unexpected gesture. “Ah, Belial,” he sighed, “What have they done to you? Butchered you like a worthless hog!”

Tears streamed down my face at his touch.

“You have two choices. Serve at my side, or burn in eternal damnation until the end of days.”

Not much of a choice! “Of course, I will serve you,” I grated out in a voice barely recognisable as my own. 

Pain lanced through me once more as my transformation began. I writhed, screaming in agony as my broken bones and shredded skin knitted back together. Fire burned in my shoulders as new wings burst forth, wrapping bat-like around my naked torso. Gone were my downy feathers. These wings were membranous, each digit talon-tipped and lethal. I stretched them and rose with a single swoop.

I caught my reflection in his eyes. My eyes blazed, my anger igniting with a thirst for revenge.

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9 days ago

Horror and pity characterize this transformation. A new take on a familiar story, powerfully written. 

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
20 days ago

Wow, Carrie, a story of fire and brimstone at its best! The pain and suffering of the fallen angel was palpable and that last line so satisfying. A wonderful descriptive piece of writing.

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
20 days ago

Oh, Carrie- what do you eat for breakfast?
A superb retelling of Lucifer’s fall from grace. Your story is so full of drama, chaos, brutality that it is a horrific tale.
I particularly like the simile, “ feathers floated to the floor like petals from a withered rose.”
Well done!

Marianna Pieterse
Marianna Pieterse(@marianna-pieterse)
20 days ago

Your story is full of tension, and your descriptive depiction of the conflict between what the fallen angel was and what he had become is memorable.

allinonefitness steven jenkins
allinonefitness steven jenkins(@allinonefitness-steven-jenkins)
20 days ago

Another wonderful story. Well done, Carrie  ? 

Christer Norrlof
Christer Norrlof(@christer-norrlof)
19 days ago

What a colorful, powerful and dramatic tale of the fall of the angels, Carrie! Your story is full of realistic details that make the read very intense and entertaining. Great job!

Heather Chrzanowski
Heather Chrzanowski(@heather-chrzanowski)
12 days ago

“Fire burned in my shoulders as new wings burst forth, wrapping bat-like around my naked torso.” Wow. I don’t think I will ever forget this line! Amazing writing as always Carrie!

Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
10 days ago

Hello, Carrie. This is one of your finest and greatest pieces. Wonderful work. Well done.

Last edited 10 days ago by Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo
Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
Reply to  Carrie OLeary
7 days ago

You’re always welcome and a huge congratulations. Cheers!

Linda Rock
Linda Rock(@linda-rock)
9 days ago

Congratulations, Carrie! I loved this story.

Melissa Taggart
Melissa Taggart(@melissa-taggart)
9 days ago

Such a fan of your writing style, Carrie! Congratulations on your win!

Thompson Emate
Thompson Emate(@thompson-emate)
9 days ago

Wow!, Carrie, I don’t know what else to say after reading all the comments on this page. I know you’re good at writing horror-filled stories. This is an attestation. Congratulations.

Margarida Brei
Margarida Brei(@margarida-brei)
8 days ago

Carrie, congratulations on your double win and on such powerful writing!

Kelly Maze
Kelly Maze(@kelly-maze)
4 days ago

I enjoyed the intensity you brought forth! I couldn’t stop reading! Congratulations!

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