Appointment in Constantinople
The General looked at his soldiers celebrating the end of a long war. They were dancing around the bonfires, the flowing wine slacking their thirst.
He smiled as he listened to the crescendo of the tambourines. The worry about his pursuer and his appointment was all forgotten as he basked in the sweet feeling of victory. The General was about to join in the celebrations when he saw the dark lady among the crowd, cruelly smiling at him, her steps light, her black veils fluttering in the warm breeze as she glided towards him.
Cold enveloped the General as he watched her. He never knew how he found himself on his horse, riding away from the campfire through the shadowy night.
He rode as if devils were chasing him. ‘Run, my friend, run. If I make it to Constantinople I’ll be safe…’ the General shouted.
Curses and prayers were alternating on his lips for days and days as he crossed rivers and fields of yellow-green wheat. Another purple-hazed dawn was rapidly approaching but still the General urged his tired steed on. He heard himself sobbing with relief as he finally saw the white towers of the capital at the horizon.
Joy flooded into him while he rode towards the Selymbria Gate. He didn’t recognise the gasp as his own when he spotted the dark lady waiting for him there.
The General felt bone-tired, the futility of everything cutting deep into his soul. Resigned, he bowed his head. ‘I’m here…’ he rasped.
Her voice was sweet as honey as she replied to him. ‘You thought I had evil intentions towards you but you are mistaken. I was just mystified, seeing you by the campfires, so far away from here. I didn’t want you to miss our appointment here in Constantinople. However, you made it! It’s the June solstice today and you are here just in time to keep me company…’
Her hand was icy against the General’s sweaty one when she took it. Relief washed over him as he noticed that she didn’t stop to pick up her scythe…
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleStarting with the glory of victory the author draws us into sharing the fullness of life with the protagonist. The author has done a great job of allowing us to follow him as his joy turns cold . Just as “curses and prayers. . . alternate on his lips” we share the contrasting feelings within him until the final moment when the appointment is completed. Well written with still a question at the end. When… Read more »
Thank you so much. Your words mean so much to me. I am so glad about this, you really made my day…month…year…
I guess it wasn’t the time for the General, that’s why she didn’t pick up her scythe, she needed a day off. The solstice was the perfect one, maybe she danced too…
Congratulations on your win, Greene and on the twists within your story.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you for your kind words, Margarida.
I like the idea of death being a dark lady rather than the normal imagery. Interesting tale Greene
Thank you, Julian. Death is represented as lady through many cultures. In many Latin languages, the article preceding the word death is always a feminine. I have always found it intriguing…
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThe scythe in the end surprised me. I never thought a lady in black to be a grim reaper. Better than usual. Nice one, Greene.
Thank you, Lotchie, you are kind as usual. I guess it wasn’t the time to go yet for the General. She was just there as an inevitable thought, giving him time to enjoy his summer of victory 😊
Hello Greene – I am very familiar with this ancient tale in many of its versions. I love the immediacy of your version. The fields of wheat were a very nice touch, giving the story life and vibrancy beyond the parable nature of the “appointment”. We also feel the urgency and fear of your protagonist, which is missing in many of the older versions. You’ve done a superb job with an ancient… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much, Fuji! I am glad you liked it. Like me, I think you enjoy a little spookiness thrown into the tales we conjure. The inspiration for this story was an old folk song I heard while in Italy. I guess the old legends you mention were the inspiration for that too. I decided not to quote the word summer in my story, so I used the wheat fields and… Read more »
I’m not familiar with this ancient tale, full of urgency and trepidation, Greene, but it certainly captured my imagination and attention. I agree with others, the thought of the grim reaper as a dark lady, was gripping. Really well written, as always.
Thank you so much, Linda! I am really glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing of this chase between the General and the Dark Lady. She is the most powerful force in the universe, as, without her, there wouldn’t be any sense in life…
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love the sheer desperation in your story Greene. Like Linda, this is a new tale for me and the idea of the lady in black as the Grim Reaper is certainly novel. Nicely done.
Thank you so much, Carrie, so happy you enjoyed it! I was thinking of the painting ‘Death & The Maiden’ when I tried to picture the Dark Lady in my mind. I hope it worked…
This isn’t a painting that is familiar to me. I looked online and there seem to be a few different versions. There is one where Death has the most glorious black wings. That one would certainly inspire me!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThat’s exactly the one, by Marianne Stokes. I have always loved it but I thought to omit the wings in my story or maybe they are just concealed in her black veils…without wings she couldn’t chase the General so effectively, I guess…
It sounds reasonable to me that she can conceal her wings when walking amongst humans. Seeing the picture has made your story all the more special 🙂
Greene, you captured well a sense of urgency and fear. Powerful writing!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleShouldn’t it read “were’ rather than “was” in “ The worry about his pursuer and his appointment was all forgotten… “?
I am really happy as you enjoyed my story and took the time to peruse it. In regard of what you pointed above, I felt that when in doubt one asks the expert so I put it to my editor. He said that a singular subject (the worry) always matches a singular expressed verb (was). If I had written ‘the worry and the sense of dread about etc.’ then we would have… Read more »
Congratulations on your win, Greene. Yours was one of my favourite stories, so pleased for you!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThank you so much Linda! I have never won anything in my life and the fact that finally I won something through my words is what lights up my heart today and for many days to come!
Congratulations on a very well-deserved win, Greene. Excellent story.
Thank you, Carrie, it’s so lovely that you liked my story. It makes me feel really good and I can’t wait to write the next story!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleCongratulations Greene on your win! I inwardly felt the fear and looming doom of the General. Fortunately, it wasn’t his time to leave this world!
Thank you so much Deborah! When I write I feel those emotions, we become our characters in a way and I love when others feel that too.
Congratulations, Greene! After reading and re-reading this story and others from you, I have become a great fan of your writing. More, please!
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleNo worries, more to come! Thank you so much for your appreciation and kind words, Julie.
A huge congratulations, Greene. A well deserved win.