I wanted to see the sun shine, but…

I wanted to admire the sun dance in the trees, but… 

I wanted to eat a peach kissed by the sun, but…

I wanted to race my shadow across a meadow, but…

I wanted to bathe in the sun’s golden light, but…

I wanted to taste the ripeness of summer, but…

Living miles below the earth’s surface there were no seasons. No summer. There was a constant grey and eternal cold which bit to my very bone. Reading a very distant relative’s journal made me long for summer sun. The traitor sun imploded centuries before I was born. So we lived like moles in the semi-darkness.  I felt like a mole – grey, partly blind and forever underground. 

The journal read, “Today we had a summer picnic on the beach before cascading into the sea. Unfortunately, the summer sun burnt my skin…”

How dare my ancestor complain about the sun! Didn’t she realise how very fortunate she was to be able to play outside in the glorious sun!

My days were so empty because all I could do now was dream about summer. All I could do was to read about summer. After taking the monthly injection of nutrition, minerals and fortified vitamins, I slumped on my bed. Burying deeper for warmth, I fell into a dream. I was walking on Earth on a glorious summer day idolising the sun-kissed trees and flowers. I admired the loveliness of a peach before taking a giant bite. It turned to cinders in my mouth. A terrible bang ricochetted. The sun imploded and the very atmosphere was on fire. I screamed myself awake as terror galloped through my veins. Once more I knew the sun-

…had imploded.

…humans had polluted the earth so scant vegetation grew.

…anything growing on earth was highly toxic.

…no sun rays meant no shadows.

…the sun no longer existed.

…summer was a far away once upon a time dream.  

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    1 month ago

    The repetitive nature of this story’s opening was definitely a successful hook. The reader is immediately drawn into wanting to soothe the protagonist, to assuage his sadness. Earth’s sadness. A dystopian future we must guard against. 

    Amy Savciuc
    Amy Savciuc(@amy-savciuc)
    2 months ago

    This is so unique, and I love the imagery! Makes me grateful for the sun and the hot summer days. Good job, Margarida!

    Carrie OLeary
    Carrie OLeary(@carrie-oleary)
    2 months ago

    This, in part, reminded me of Hugh Howey’s ‘Wool’ series where they all live in underground silos because the air is too toxic to breathe. But then your story made me question what would happen if Earth didn’t have a sun to orbit. Would we just drift aimlessly through space along with the rest of the space garbage that we’ve created? Lovely descriptions and a very thought-provoking read.

    Deborah Goulding
    Deborah Goulding(@deborah-goulding)
    2 months ago

    This is a well written scenario of an earth I hope we never encounter. It’s descriptive in a positive light only to sink into a dark forbidden and unholy world. Well done, Margarida.

    2 months ago

    I agree with Carrie, this has shades of the “wool” series. I enjoyed your dystopian view of summer

    Lisa Dykes
    Lisa Dykes(@lisa-dykes)
    2 months ago

    i love the way you structured this story, a really great read.

    Greene M Wills
    Greene M Wills(@greene-m-wills)
    2 months ago

    A great story, Margarida! The past and the future connecting through a journal that carries promises of joy and fun through the simple things. The bleak reality of a catastrophe and a life lost in the dark are such powerful elements in this tale. Yes, we should treat our sun and what we enjoy with respect on this planet, without taking it for granted…

    Julie Harris
    Julie Harris(@julie-harris)
    1 month ago

    Hello Margarida – Stories like this are so important in these days of Climate Despair. I’ve said elsewhere that we need to appreciate what we have in order to protect it. Your story helps us remember the miraculous world we still have … can we save it? Let’s keep trying!

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    1 month ago

    Hello, Margarida. What a nice and unique style of connecting those opening sentences to each corresponding closing sentences. I thorough enjoyed it. Thanks for the new ideas. Well done for a very well-written piece.

    Lotchie Carmelo
    Lotchie Carmelo(@lotchie-carmelo)
    Reply to  Margarida Brei
    1 month ago

    No, Margarida. You don’t need to apologize. It is fine.

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