Our Invisible Lifeline
– Victoria! Can you hear me? Do you understand what I am saying? Please don’t give up on me!
(I know that you are there, Mother, but I’m unable to respond. I have lost all my strength and energy. I’m a prisoner inside my own body.)
* * *
– The doctors say that they can’t do anything for you, Victoria. They think that you are slowly dying. But I will never leave you. I’ll be waiting for your awakening no matter how much time you need.
(I feel like a lost diver, Mother, drifting around in the darkness of a deep ocean. Your voice is my lifeline, going up to the surface, to the mother-ship, where you are keeping watch with me. When you sing to me, read to me and talk to me, you remind me that there is something more than this abyss.)
* * *
– When I gave birth to you, Victoria, a spark was created inside you. That spark still unites us and connects us to each other. We were one when I was waiting for you to be born into the world and we are still connected, now that I am waiting for your return.
(Thank you for reminding me, Mother. When I forget about you, I sink further down into the darkness. Everything turns into nothingness and meaninglessness.)
* * *
– I’m afraid that you overheard what the doctor said today, Victoria. Did you notice that he used the word “vegetable” when he was talking about your future? If you did, I hope you can dismiss it.
(I heard it, Mother, and I agree with you. The doctor doesn’t know about miracles. He only has faith in what he sees with his physical eyes. How could he know that your voice feeds my mind and kindles my soul?)
* * *
– Victoria! Your eyes moved! You see me! Can you blink?
(Yes, Mother. Here’s another wink for you. Did you notice?)
– I saw it! You are still in there! You can see and hear and understand me!
(Yes! Something is starting to happen, Mother. This deep-sea diver is heading back up to the surface, to the light, to you!)
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis story is loosely based on a true story that I ran into online some time go. An 11 year old girl, Victoria Arlen, entered into a deep coma and stayed there without being able to move or talk for four long years. Against all odds, she managed to come out of the coma and is now, 18 years later, totally restored. She has since then been successful in several fields and… Read more »
I have never read anything like this before. This story speaks of such love and hope between the mother and daughter. I absolutely believe there is a conscious state in the daughter. Wow, this was so touching. I’ve read it a few times already! Much praise to you, Christer!
Christer, this is an incredible story. On my first reading, I was moved to tears. On the second reading, I marveled at the sheer power of the story. On the third reading, I was amazed at what a skilled writer can accomplish with just dialogue. Needless to say, I love this story. I think it is one of your best. I saw your note about the inspiration for the story and I’m… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThanks a lot, Fuji. You just reminded me that this is the second time I write a story with only dialogue (as far as I can remember). The other one was when I got the idea to look into the sad story about Madame Butterfly (“Bloodlines”) and what might have happened to her son. Both stories are very emotional, and for some reason they happened to be written with only dialogue. Hmmm…… Read more »
Hello again, Christer – You totally succeeded in making your story multi-dimensional. There are so many levels in which this story can be explored. I watched the video about Victoria, with tears rolling down my face, and felt the universality of your story. Most of us have played both roles in the story, if we view it as an allegory. At times, we’ve been lost and drowning and the love and support… Read more »
Question: Would the story lose anything if the * * * separators were removed? Would if flow more smoothly without them? I’m not sure. Let’s see what others think.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI’m glad you asked, Fuji. In my first draft, I had no separators. The idea to insert them came only after I had been working with the story for quite some time. I was considering the fact that Victoria was in a coma for four years and was afraid that my story, without separators, would look like one single conversation at one occasion. With the separators, I wanted to give the impression… Read more »
This is a soul tearing story that you have presented in a new way through silent dialogue. I love the imagery of the lost diver in a deep sea. So glad you are back writing for Voice.Club, Christer!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Margarida. It makes me happy to see that you liked my diving metaphor, just like it made me happy when I found it. It was stored away somewhere in the back of my mind and when it popped up, there was a second metaphors that insisted in participating in the story as well (a seed, hiding deep down in the black soil, waiting for the right time… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleThis is emotional and beautiful, full of drama and wonderful metaphors. Thank you, Christer for this story. I’ll say it’s one of your best.
Thank you, Thompson. I’m very pleased to see that you liked the story.
I second all these comments, Christer. I’ve always felt how terrifying it must be for someone in a coma who can hear all that is said around them but are unable to respond. I’ll definitely watch the video. An emotionally-charged story that I too think is one of your best.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleIt is possible that what I read and saw about Victoria had a deep impact on me partly because I experienced “sleep paralysis” a couple of times when I was young. I knew that I was asleep and I wanted to wake up, but I just couldn’t move. It felt like some kind of claustrophobia and although I was starting to panic, I still couldn’t wake up. So, I agree with what… Read more »
I can’t imagine how frightening that must have been for you, Christer. Having watched the video, Victoria’s story is nothing short of miraculous. Thank goodness she had such a supportive family.
A very touching story, and nicely narrated with the external dialogue of the ever caring and hopeful mother and the internal dialogue of the daughter. Such an awful situation to be in. I can’t imagine being trapped inside your body with no way to communicate to the outside world. Nicely done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI agree, Carrie. It must have been a terrible experience for the girl. But, of course, the whole family was deeply affected by her suffering during all those years.
It’s unbelievable that she turned out the way she is today. It gives us hope that our own situations where suffering is involved also can be overcome and turned around. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hello, Christer. Your story is so heartbreaking. I was in tears from start to finish. But when I read about miracles, I felt like I was alive. Our faith saves us. Well done.
I’m glad you appreciated the story, Lotchie. I wrote and re-wrote it many times, trying to make it transparent and applicable to other kinds of relationships as well, one of them being the one between a human and God.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI love it. Well done.
A well-crafted interpretation of an amazing true story. Thank you for gifting us with this beautiful presentation. Good to have you back, Christer.
It’s good to be back, Julie. And it feels good to get support from old friends again. Thank you very much. Re-reading first your beautiful poem Aubade and then my dialogue directly after each other is a fascinating experience. They have an element in common since both young women are taken down into a dark, unknown abyss by a strange, irresistible force. I think that the traditional way of looking at Persefone… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI absolutely agree with you, Christer. Victoria may have been given a double gift – the gift of a loving, supportive, light-filled family and the gift of delving deep into herself into a darkness she never would have chosen, but which shaped her into the beautiful and profound person she became. Sometimes our worst experiences turn out to be the most valuable. My own experience with exploring the darker world was my… Read more »
This story is my favorite of yours to date. This is impressively well-crafted. It’s beautiful. I love the emotion and the pace. Great work!
Thank you very much, Melissa. It makes me happy to see that you appreciate it, since it took a lot of patience and several re-writings to get it where it felt right.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI believe! Thanks for your insight into the seemingly unknown.
Thanks for reading and commenting. It’s exciting to delve into those unknown areas, don’t you think? I remember your last story which was very entertaining. When will we get another chance to read something from you?