The Soul Is a Sense Part II
“Insipid!” hissed with vehemence. Is this what he thought of me? I felt like someone grabbed my throat.
“Boring! Colourless!” Hearing his words describe me, the stranglehold on my throat increased.
“Vacuous!” Did he think me unintelligent?
“Nothing compared to our women with hair the colour of exotic moonlight! They are bred as warriors from the cradle. A hot blend of fiery spices, burning ice and animal fury. Effortlessly, they kill wild beasts, gut them, then roast them rather than eat weeds out of the soil. Kiss me my precious.”
Angry lava rampaged through my arteries as I burst into the room. Nonchalantly, he leaned against the mantelpiece staring at the door waiting for me to barge in. He was gloating. Gloating and alone.
“Why you.. Why you….!” I sputtered and he laughed at my discomfort. Finally, I blurted, “Oh so you were complaining about me, in hopes to make me stronger? Do you really prefer your women?”
It was all too much, and I burst into tears.
“Shush, fair one. The women in my world are too hell-bent on destruction, too fiery-tempered and in love with themselves. You little one, know your own worth – even if you eat weeds. Vegetarian? You look like a frail flower but have the strength of a universe. I hear your enchanting laugh and fall in love all over again. You smell of fresh running brooks, clear skies and mountain flowers. Wherever you go, you leave a sweet taste of innocence. The way you gently touched that injured animal demonstrates that you are pure. You, my dear, have a soul; it is this sense which makes you more beautiful to me.
Your hair is woven with gold threads
Threads like lightning of goodness
Goodness in thoughts, feelings and actions are a real part of you
You are my Juliet, but we will write a different tale
Tale of two star-crossed contradicts who fell in love and stayed in love
Love will lead us to that secret part of my country where opposites can stay together
Together, we will better each other’s souls.”
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI enjoyed this story Margarida, but I would love to read a longer version, to know how these two came to be together in the first place, to know more about their origins and backgrounds. I know it is a follow-up to your earlier story, but I feel there could be so much more to it. It has me truly intrigued. Nicely done.
I too feel that the story is incomplete. Many thank yous for your suggestions.
Hello, Margarida. I love your words, “Insipid!” “..hair the colour of exotic moonlight” “woven with Gold threads” “Threads like lightning of goodness” … I found it more magical and sweet. Lovely! Well done.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleA thousand thanks, Lotchie for your luxurious plaudits.
Chain verse employs the same closing word or syllable from one line to open the next line.This Medieval form was used to communicate tidings and news in France. For example-
Anonymous – France
Nerve thy soul with doctrines noble
Noble in the walks of time,
Time that leads to an eternal,
An eternal life sublime.
Wow. Thanks for imparting your knowledge to me, Margarida. I appreciate it so much.
I hope I can apply it to my poem. I am working on it. But a little busy with my schooling. I am on my practicum until December 15, 2023.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GooglePoetry is so complex!
Wishing you all the best in your studies. Please keep us informed of your wonderful progress. What are you hoping to do in the future?
Reading and writing is my best hobby. Also, I love playing volleyball. What I am hoping to do in the future? My future might be a Businesswoman. I am fond of doing business. And for now, after finishing my schooling I need to work locally or abroad to gather capital.
As always, your story delivers much depth and a thought provoking response. Your protagonist has overcome insecurities to find her self worth. Well done, Margarida.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleI appreciate your kind comments, Deborah. There will be many struggles ahead for the protagonists. After a little time, I would like to add to this story.
Congratulations Margarida on your big, much deserved win! Wohoo! So happy for you! You should be very proud of yourself, and how you help others is a great attribute!!!!!!
I second Deborah’s exuberant congratulations, Margarida. We are all delighted to have you join us in these wonderful Writing Events. One thing that really impressed me was the wide variety of your stories in this particular Event – from putrid jelly beans to angel/devil love to another side of a wicked witch to a prince who’d rather be a frog – you never seem to run out of inspiration. I also love… Read more »
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleYou are too generous in your accolades. I much appreciate your comments. Funnily enough I was reading about Miss Oliver, a writer in Agatha Christie’s mysteries. She had no idea how to accept praise for her writing, whereas I just look at alternative words for “thanks” in Rhymezone.
Just a little confused because I thought one overall story was to be chosen.
Hello Margarida – Here is what we wrote in the email that was sent out to all members to announce the Free Pass for August:
Five Senses Writing Event
We will award a six-month free Writing Subscription to the most engaging author participating in this event. The winning author will be determined by the quality of their pictures, submissions, comments, and author’s bio.
Thank you for your explanations. I feel very honoured to win the subscription.
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To Leave Comments - Please SignIn with GoogleWow! Thank you. I feel very honoured.